#124+ #238: Jynx and the blasted baby Smoochum

Well, there's another frustrating baby Pokemon here, but more infamously a big heap of controversy/rapper.

Smoochum is the baby, so we'll thrash that one first. Yeah, it doesn't look good. 45 HP, 30 attack, a woeful 15 defence, 65 in speed and special defence and an admittedly good 85 special attack, but you're ice/psychic with the abilities oblivious (prevents infatuation and taunting, the former quite key due to 100% female split of the species), forewarn  (points out the highest power move the foe has) and the hidden ability hydration (the rain can cure status afflictions). You don't evolve until level 30 (between fake tears and lucky chant below).

Everything here looks like a skinny Honey Boo Boo...

Pound (base 40 normal physical) and lick (base 30 ghost physical with chance to paralyse) will basically do as much damage as if you cough at the houses of Parliament in Westminster. Sweet kiss confuses the target and sing can put them to sleep. Between these two moves you get access to powder snow (ice special base 40 with a 10% chance of freezing the target, able to hit both foes in a double battle), and confusion (base 50 psychic special that can confuse), both offering damage aligned STAB. Heart stamp is a base 60 psychic physical move that carries a 30% chance to flinch the foe, mean look locks the opponent in and prevents voluntary switching, and fake tears lowers the target's special defence by two stages.

The other side of the evolving level is lucky chant, which prevents the foe from landing lucky hits on the team for 5 turns, whilst avalanche comes in after as a base 60 physical ice move with a very low priority, allowing you to be hurt, at which point it doubles in power for the turn to base 120. Psychic is the same great move it always is (base 90 special psychic), copycat is the annoyance it always is (copies the foe's last move), perish song starts a counter so that every Pokemon in play that hears the song will die after the counter ends (so couple with mean look, maybe), and blizzard is a base 110 ice special move that has 70 accuracy unless in hail, where it gets 100.

The TM list offers psyshock, hail, ice beam (in my book this is better than blizzard as the 100 accuracy and 90 power is nicer), shadow ball (base 80 ghost special), psychic again, grass knot, dream eater and frost breath (base 60 ice special that results in a critical hit unless hitting a foe under lucky chant or with certain abilities like shell armour) in addition to the standard fodder. Fake out is one of the better choices from the breeding list, which is a little sad, though that said, nasty plot offers its huge boost to special attack, and wish is good for teammates.

The tutor actually offers a lot. Sadly, ice punch, zen headbutt and covet are all physical and won't do much for you. Icy wind is a base 55 special move that can slow the foe (if you need me to tell you what type this is, then please sit in the corner and have a think for a few hours), signal beam, snore, uproar and water pulse make yet another appearance each, helping hand helps an ally in a multi-battle, trick swaps held items, skill swap swaps abilities, heal bell heals all party members of status issues, role play copies the foe's ability as your own, magic coat reflects status inducing moves and things like leech seed, magic room suppresses held items, and recycle recycles consumed berries.

Jynx has been labelled as a racist mascot, a portrayal of the gyaru/ganguro subcultures in Japan, something that is trans-phobic, and more recently, Nicki Minaj. Jynx starts with 65 base HP and 50 attack, coupled with a dreadful 35 base defence. On a slightly lighter note, you get a nice 115 special attack and 95 special defence, and your speed is ok, not great, base 95. Abilities-wise you get oblivious, forewarn and the hidden ability dry skin (you take more damage from fire moves and lose HP in the sun but get healed by rain and water attacks). You notice the boosted damage from fire moves? Yeah, you're already ice-type (with psychic, too) so that's a monumental risk...

"Starships were meant to fly-y-y!"

Draining kiss is like a fairy special version of drain punch, hitting at base 50 and draining their health to heal you. Perish song, pound, powder snow and lovely kiss all survive as initial moves along with most of the others. Joining the ranks are: double slap, wake-up slap (could have been bred in), ice punch and body slam all as useless physical moves. Wring out is normal special and hits a foe harder the higher percentage HP that foe has left.

The TM list is bolstered by hyper beam, giga impact, payback, hidden power, focus blast and energy ball, whilst the tutor now also offers drain punch, focus punch and hyper voice.

There's nothing here to like, really, other than decent but unspectacular special stats and a slightly above pedestrian speed stat. If you like Jynx, then by all means use it. If not, you probably won't have been convinced to like it.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#123+ #212: Scyther and Scizor

Well, we've escaped the horror of Mr. Mime and find ourselves safe and what the hell is that? A giant mantis and his robot friend!!!

Just going to say this now: I like Scyther. Despite being bug/flying, there is a decent amount to like, starting with a reasonable 70 base HP, 80 in both defences, 105 speed and 110 attack, with the throw away special attack at 55. So what if you won't be a mixed attacker, you can hit pretty hard and fast with those stats. You also get the technician ability again (boost the power of moves base 60 or lower by 1.5x, moves affected denoted by *), along with swarm (ups the power of bug-type moves by 1.5x when your HP is below 1/3rd) and the hidden ability steadfast (boosts your already impressive speed by one stage when you get flinched). So what if two of the abilities may as well not be there? Steadfast isn't that common, and ability capsules exist.

Looks safer than the clown...

You start off with the special fighting move vacuum wave* (base 40) which is pretty forgettable since, y'know, it's special, but it does get priority, like, I dunno, quick attack* which you can also get, hitting as a base 40 physical normal with the same priority. Leer drops the defence of the foe, focus energy boosts critical changes, and pursuit (sorta *) hits as a base 40 dark move that can hit foes who are switching out for double damage, gaining priority only when the foe tries switching out. False swipe* is a normal physical base 40 attack that uses restraint and will leave the foe alive, agility boosts your speed, and wing attack* is your first STAB move as a base 60 physical flying move which can also hit any foe in a multi-battle. Fury cutter* comes hot on its heels as another STAB move, this time a base 40 physical bug move increasing in power with successive uses up to a maximum 160, which is pretty scary if you can keep on hitting with its 95 accuracy and lack of initial damage leaving you open to death. Slash is an ever serviceable base 70 normal physical move (just too high for technician) that has a decent critical ratio, whilst razor wind is a shade more powerful at 80, but is normal special move with a charging turn, which ruins the appeal of the high critical ratio.

Double-team boosts your evasiveness, which can be nice, whilst X-scissor is a nicely powerful bug physical move (base 80) and night slash is a good dark physical with base 70 and an increased critical hit ratio. Double hit* hits twice (wow!) with base 35 normal physical power on each hit within the turn, air slash is a base 75 flying special (STAB but wrong stat category) that has a decent flinch chance, swords dance boosts your attack by two stages and feint* hits base 30 normal physical as a priority move that also lifts the effects of the foe's protect, detect, spiky shield and whatnot.

In addition to all the scattered stuff you normally get from TMs (here, return could be great, by the way), you get hyper beam if you wan't to waste a move slot (the same being said for giga impact, but that at least is physical), brick break, aerial ace* (and STAB, too), thief*, steel wing (which gets STAB if you evolve), struggle bug* (but despite STAB is special), X-scissor (again), U-turn (bug physical and allows you to switch out when you hit, so potentially awesome), cut* and rock smash*. Why no fly? Especially when you get roost...

To go with things like swords dance and agility, you can breed in baton pass and pass these moves onto something even more horrifying (you can also get substitute from TMs of course), and you can also get counter. Bug buzz is special and so is less valuable than it could be, defog carries utility but it probably better on another Pokemon, reversal is decent, and the tutor can give knock off and bug bite, as well as snore and tail wind.

If you didn't use the metal coat on Onix (or you had a spare), then you can trade Scyther with it to get Scizor. Both Pokemon have the same base stat total, but here we have reassigned some of that wonderful speed to other areas, mainly the defence, which shoots up to 100, the attack gets an extra 20 as well, going to 130, with the speed now lagging behind at 65. You also trade out your flying-type to steel, making you more weak to fire, and since lots of fast fire-types hang around as special or mixed sweepers, this could be a poor call. Steadfast also makes way, granting light metal, which halves your weight.

Is Hugh Jackman motion controlling this?

Instead of vacuum wave, you get the much better bullet punch*, which is basically a steel equivalent to quick attack so you get STAB. The other two obligatory steel moves that pop up in the level list are metal claw*, a base 50 physical move that has a slight chance of raising your attack by a stage, and iron head, a base 80 physical move that carries a decent chance of flinching the foe. Fling and acrobatics are there on the TM list as a potential combo, as acrobatics starts as base 55* until you lose your item, at which point it doubles to 110. Flash cannon is normally a decent move, but not with 55 base special attack, strength may be more advisable. Iron defence, iron head and superpower are added by the tutor, with the latter hitting hard but reducing both of your physical stats by a stage for each use.

We're not quite done yet, as Scizor has been blessed by a mega evolution. Mega Scizor gets a much needed boost in stats and a really dumb design. 150 attack is great, so is 140 defence, even the 20 more to special defence is nice, but adding 10 to special attack and only adding the same to speed is really insulting: add 20 to speed, nothing to special attack, then maybe it could be good. You get technician as the sole ability, but the remaining lack of speed, the massive weakness to fire (in place of less significant weaknesses to ice and poison) are just baffling with the massive speed loss from the original Scyther.

What?

I'll finish wrapping up in the designated paragraph: I like Scyther a lot, but I don't really like Scizor that much. Scizor is just not fast enough to carry enough of a threat. Even with technician, the priority moves available aren't anything ground breaking, so to do real damage, you'll be attacking later. Sure, a STAB bullet punch with technician could save you, but it may not be enough to make me like this Pokemon as much as its original form.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#122+ #439: Mr Mime and yet another baby, Mime Jr.

Yep, we have yet another late addition baby Pokemon that is overwhelmingly annoying, along with nightmare fuel...

Mime Jnr. sucks: it's like Chiaotzu in appearance (a little), fits with that bit in DBZA and has probably never beaten anyone on screen. You do actually get decent special stats of 70 special attack and 90 special defence, but 20 HP kinda crushes the possibility of special walling anything, and 60 speed is insufficient for anything, really. 45 defence means you won't take any physical hits, and 25 physical attack is poor, but doesn't really make any difference... As far as typing goes, well it isn't too bad as psychic/fairy, and the abilities are a little interesting. Soundproof negates the effect of sound based moves such as sing, supersonic, snore, boomburst whatever... Filter reduces the incoming super effective damage by 25% (so 2x damage becomes 1.5x, 4x becomes 3x) so this can prevent massive damage, but you'll still probably die, and the hidden ability technician adds a 50% boost to moves with power 60 or less, which is petty awesome (moves affected by this will receive a *).

If only it got self-destruct!

So you start with tickle (drops both of the foe's physical stats by a stage) and barrier (raises the user's defence by two stages) along with confusion* (base 50 psychic special move that can cause confusion in the foe). Copycat causes the user to use the last move used by the target, and meditate boosts your attack by a stage (which could be useful for a baton pass team). Double slap* hits 2 to 5 times as base 15 physical normal, and mimic (which is needed to be in the moveset to evolve into Mr. Mime) copies the last move used into its space. Encore forces the foe to repeat the last move used and has been massively downgraded, formerly lasting up to 7 turns it now lasts a fixed 3. Light screen boosts the special defence of the team for a few turns, whilst reflect does the same with the physical side of things.

Psybeam just misses out on technician by virtue of base 65 psychic special damage, and substitute creates a substitute to take the next hit or so for you at the expense of some of your HP (which allows for more comfortable baton passing or focus punching, along with just dodging some heavy damage or stat/status affliction). Recycle allows you to recover a previously used berry, trick allows you to swap items with the foe, and psychic is something we all really should know by now (base 90 psychic special). Role play allows you to lose your ability and take that of the target, whilst baton pass allows you to switch out, passing on stat boosts, aqua rings, leech seed income and substitutes (for example) to the Pokemon that comes in (entire teams are built around this premise, allowing significant stat boosts to be passed to a sweeper or to a stored power user). The final level move is safeguard, which prevents status afflictions to the team.

In addition to the old standards from TMs, you also get psyshock, thunder/bolt, solar beam, psychic, shadow ball, brick break, thunder wave, thief*, round*, charge beam*, infestation*, trick room, dream eater and grass knot. Hidden power gets technician boost*. Breeding can get you fake out*, confuse ray, future sight, hypnosis, icy wind*, healing wish, nasty plot, wake up slap and some other interesting options. The tutor gives you loads, arguably the most interesting of which (that you can't get from elsewhere) are covet, drain punch, focus punch (sadly all physical), snatch, uproar, snore and shockwave.

If you leveled up with mimic, you can now get Mr. Mime and several sleepless nights from its 3D animation. Along with this new-found bed wetting and insomnia, you get boosts to all stats: 40HP, 45 attack, 65 defence, 100 special attack, 110 special defence and 90 speed, so not dreadful. The type and abilities remain constant.

"Give me your soul, children!"

You get some new moves available from the get-go. Misty terrain is basically a fairy counterpart to grassy terrain, and reduces the impact of dragon moves (which Mr. Mime is immune to). Magical leaf* is a decent grass special move at base 60, quick guard protects against priority moves, wide guard protects against moves that can hit the whole team, power swap switches any stat changes to both attacks with the changes applied to the foe, whilst guard swap does the same with your defences, and then we just get the same level set as before. Hyper beam, giga impact, focus blast, energy ball and payback (possible *) are added to the TM list with aerial ace*, power up punch* and dazzling gleam. The tutor adds in the elemental punches, iron defence, foul play, and zen headbutt, as well as skill swap.

All in all, the stats and abilities are there to be of some use, but I personally hate this Pokemon: it's creepy, it's annoying and I just don't get it. It can be used as a baton pass chain member, it can be used as a weak special sweeper, but the moveset is pretty odd, the design is awful, the stats are awkward and yeah, I just feel no attachment to it.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#120+ #121: Staryu and Starmie

After this recent run, IGN just told me that I was a 7.8: too much water...

Staryu... Well, it's a star in shape, at least. It's pretty fast (base 85), but aside from that and the special attack (base 70), then you'll be rather disappointed. 30HP, 45 physical attack and 55 in both defences. You get pure water typing, along with the abilities illuminate (utterly worthless in battle as it does nothing, but as a lead party member in the wild, the encounter rate increases dramatically), natural cure (heals status conditions when switching or when the battle ends) and analytic (hidden, if your target has already moved in the turn, you hit them 30% harder). None of these abilities is that great, since analytic gets shut down a bit by your nice speed. Natural cure is pretty good, I guess.

Yep, it's a star, all right...

Hmm... Tackle is the first move you get along with harden (boosts defence). You then can pick up water gun (water special base 40) and rapid spin (normal physical base 20 that can also be used to remove entry hazards, and so makes the Pokemon a good niche if you can find good things elsewhere). Recover isn't an awful move if you intend on hanging around, as it recovers 50% of your maximum HP, whilst psywave (which would gain STAB later on as a psychic special move except it's a fixed damage move) deals damage based on your level, between 0.5x and 1.5x the users level. Swift is a reliable hit, with base 60 normal physical and it won't miss unless the foe protects, flies up, tunnels down or dives under the ocean waves like a murderous Jacques Cousteau. Next up is bubble beam, which is base 65 water special with the chance to drop the foe's speed. You then get access to camouflage, which changes your type depending upon your environment (so in grass or with grassy terrain you become grass-type, in a volcano, you become fire-type, and in space you obviously become a dragon (duh!)). You get gyro ball, which I guess can be good if you get trick room-ed, but otherwise it's pretty much crap. We know brine: base 65 water special that doubles in power if the foe is below 50% HP.

You can minimize if you want the extra evasiveness that double team from the TM list would do without getting all the major disadvantages that come with minimize (like boosted damage from an incoming stomp). Reflect type does what the name suggests in that it changes your type to that of the foe, even if they have two types, but it won't work on Arceus due to the multitype ability. Power gem is a rock special move with base 80 and no added effects, confuse ray will confuse the foe, and psychic will become a STAB move when you evolve, hitting as a base 90 special move, I think you know what type it is. Light screen doubles special resistance of the team for a few turns, cosmic power boosts both defensive stats by a stage, and hydro pump is a very powerful (base 110) water special move that has only 80 accuracy and 5PP, so surf is a much better move, really.

Looking at TMs, you can grab the standards (including the aforementioned double team), along with ice beam/blizzard, thunder/bolt, hidden power, scald (base 60 water special with a chance to burn the foe), flash cannon (base 80 steel special with a 10% chance of lowering the foe's special defence), dazzling gleam (base 80 fairy special), surf, thunderwave, and then dive and waterfall that are physical water move. You get nothing from breeding, but the tutor offers water pulse (base 60 water special with the chance to confuse the foe), signal beam (base 75 bug special), snore, gravity (drops flying or levitating foes to the ground), recycle (gives you back a berry if you have used it), pain split (averages your HP and that of the foe so you could potentially get some decent healing out of this one but no killing blow), magic coat (reflects things like thunderwave, teeter dance and entry hazards, along with leech seed and attract), and finally icy wind (because everything seems to get this and snore, it's base 55 ice special that can lower the foe's speed).

If you want to use a water stone (not a book shop), then you can evolve into Starmie, which has a few more points and a boost of 30 to every stat, making them as follows: 60HP, 75 attack, 85 defence, 100 special attack, 85 special defence and 115 speed. This 'mysterious Pokemon' keeps the abilities you had before, but is now also psychic-type, which could be a blessing or a curse.

Ok, forget the star shape, the names make me think of a Lionel Richie song, I think...

You'll be wanting to get all the level up moves whilst as a Staryu, since the move list is basically binned and replaced with a very short version that is just hydro pump, water gun, rapid spin, recover, swift and confuse ray. Definitely get everything you want before using that water stone. The TM list gets psyshock as a nice addition (base 80 psychic special that hits the foe's defence, meaning it can go round special walls where psychic would fall flat, meaning you could actually have both on a moveset and not be laughed at), hyper beam and giga impact also both come in, as does dream eater, which would be great if you had a move that induced sleep on a foe, rather than on yourself. You can also grab grass knot, and trick room if you want to use gyro ball and analytic. Trick room is an interesting choice, certainly weird but potentially good, as you can get it up early using your good speed, which basically ensures you'll go last unless it's the rare situation where something could outspeed you. If you get the trick room up (say in a double battle), then analytic ability comes into play if you get hit, and gyro ball could do some real damage, else you could have trick room to undo someone else's trick room.

Skill swap, trick and wonder room now inhabit the tutor list in addition to what we saw before. Skill swap could be used to dump the almost pathetic illuminate ability onto someone else and get something much better in exchange, or transfer analytic onto a team mate if you feel it'll get hit before it can do its damage. Trick can swap your held item with that of the enemy (but exercise caution with this one), and wonder room will swap the defence and special defence of all Pokemon in play (stat modifiers stay the same).

I didn't think I would be saying this, but this family is actually seriously quite good. You get decent stats all round, with a very nice speed and good special attack. Rapid spin could guarantee this Pokemon a place on a team since it could well outshine most rivals for that position, and it could also pull double duty as a special sweeper with powerful moves, interesting typing and dazzling speed. The only let down is the abilities it has, but none of them actually hurt it. Really, you should consider this one.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#118+ #119: Goldeen and Seaking

I like fish, and not just as food. I also got a laugh out of the 'Seaking! F@@@ Yeah!' thing for about 10 minutes. The question we should now ask is whether it was worth that?

Goldeen is not worth that level of excitement, really, but it actually isn't too bad: far better than I ever remember in terms of stats. 67 attack, 60 defence, 50 special defence and 63 speed aren't dreadful, but reasonably ok for a first evolution. The downsides are that it only evolves once, so you should get more, and the HP is only 45, with 35 special attack. Since you're basically a goldfish, this is a water-type Pokemon, with the abilities water veil (prevents you from being burned), swift swim (speed doubles in rain) and the hidden ability lightning rod. Lightning rod is interesting enough to get its own sentence, since it grants electric immunity, which will be your most common threat, and also draws in electric attacks in multi-battles, and each time the Pokemon is hit with an electric attack, it will receive a one stage boost to its special attack, which is a shame, since the special attack here is in the toilet, so to physical attack would be much preferable. It's still cool for the immunity and the multi-battle focus, so this with swift swim could be awesome.

Remember, if your goldfish has a horn, take it to the vets...

Straight into the moveset we get tail whip (lowers the foe's defence) and water sport (lowers the damage taken from fire moves for your team), both of which make sense, but peck, a physical flying type move (base 35 with no extra effect) shows up out of nowhere. Never mind, as we charge on to supersonic (confuses the foe), horn attack (normal physical base 65), flail (haven't defined in a while: normal physical that hits harder the less %HP the user has), and then water pulse (base 60 special water with a chance to confuse). Keeping on trucking on, you can nab aqua ring (basically like a leftovers that can be baton passed), fury attack (base 15 that hits up to 5 times as normal physical), and agility. You can also pick up waterfall (water physical base 80 with a chance to flinch and lets you ride up waterfalls around the world).

If you haven't evolved yet, you can also nab horn drill (OHKO move that only hits Pokemon of a lower level than the user, with greater accuracy the lower level the foe is compared to you), soak (changes the foe's type to water), and megahorn (base 120 bug-type physical move with 5PP and 85 accuracy, and nothing else).

Along with the standard moves, you can nab things like blizzard and ice beam from TMs, along with scald, poison jab, surf, dive and secret power. So basically just the normally available moves and some filler that is of the wrong inclination (more special than physical). You can, however, breed in aqua tail (base 90 water physical) for a little more oomph. You can also chain in haze, body slam and mud shot, as well as routinely breeding in hydro pump, mud slap, mud sport (worthless if you have lightning rod), psybeam, signal beam and the recoil move skull bash. If you skip down to the tutor, they can offer aqua tail, bounce, drill run, icy wind, knock off, signal beam, snore and water pulse.

You evolve by level at level 32 into Seaking. Go on, yell it now, bonus points for being in public. With the new name comes 80HP, 92 attack, a disappointingly small increase to defence up to 65 (from 60), 65 special attack (still underwhelming), 80 special defence, and another depressingly small boost to the speed up to 68 (from 63, of course). The additions don't really stretch much further, either, since you stay the same type with the same abilities, the same level up list with the exception of poison jab being made available on evolving, hyper beam and giga impact being the only TM additions, and the same tutor list. Yeah, pretty dull.

Yeah, and if it has fangs too, then think about getting a different pet.

What we had here was a first evolution with a fair degree of potential: some promising stats, good abilities, a good typing and a few decent moves. The evolution doesn't add much worthwhile to the good stats, the best ability doesn't line up with the right attack stat, the move list doesn't grow, and all in all, this isn't really that impressive. You could be better off running an eviolite Goldeen, but it's not a Pokemon that will propel you to superstardom, most likely.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#116+ #117 + #230: Horsea, Seadra and Kingdra

Another classic Pokemon that got a further evolution in the second generation, and water-type fans will be enjoying the next few blogs, but the question remains: is this family any good?

Horsea's kinda sweet, in a way. It's stats aren't, really, though. 30 HP, 40 attack, 25 special defence all seem a bit rubbish, but 60 speed, and 70 defence and special attack, which are actually rather promising. The high defence is cool, but would suggest another physical wall except the speed can pretty much allow for being a special sweeper kinda set: speed and special attack could be a good way to go. Despite being called 'dragon Pokemon', you're actually pure water-type at the moment. Your abilities are, err, ok I guess. Swift swim is arguably the best of the bunch since it doubles your speed in the rain and the rain will also make you hit harder (bonus, this is the most common ability in the game, owned by 38 Pokemon). Sniper is in no way bad, since it doubles the critical hit damage, whilst the hidden ability of damp is rather disappointing, preventing moves like self-destruct.

D'aww!

You actually get very little by level up. Bubble is a base 40 water special move that can lower the speed of the foe, and later on you can get bubble beam, which hits base 65 and has less PP, but is otherwise the same. Smokescreen lowers the target's accuracy, whilst leer drops the target's defence. Water gun is base 40 water special with no added effects and less PP than bubble and is thus vastly inferior since they have the same accuracy, too. Twister is a dragon special move that hits base 40 with a flinch chance and will hit Pokemon on the semi-invulnerable turns of bounce, fly and skydrop, hitting for double damage, which is rather nice. We've already talked about bubble beam, but here, if you have sniper, focus energy could be reasonable since it boosts critical chances. Brine is a base 65 water special attack which doubles in power when hitting a Pokemon that has less than 50% HP remaining. Agility is able to boost your speed, dragon dance raises attack (not your focus, so far at least) and speed, and dragon pulse is a base 85 dragon special move. The last move here is hydro pump, which is useless despite base 110 power as a water special because it lacks accuracy (80) and PP (5).

You get all the standard TMs, along with blizzard and ice bean, hidden power, scald (base 80 water special that can also cause a burn, and is one of my favourite moves), flash cannon (base 80 steel special that can lower the foe's special defence by a stage), surf, dive and waterfall.

You can breed in aurora beam as a special ice option, and clear smog can be chain bred in as a poison special that also resets all the target's stat changes. Muddy water is rather pointless, and so is dragon rage for most occasions but it will always hit for 40HP damage. Dragon breath hits with base 60 dragon special and has the chance to cause paralysis, and you can also take flail and outrage if you need. Octazooka is a decent water special move with 50% chance to lower the foe's accuracy, razor wind is a normal special with base 80 but needs a charging turn before hitting with a greater than average critical hit chance. Signal beam is one of the better bug-type moves in the game (base 65 special), you should all know water pulse, and you could also breed in splash if you want to be mocked. A trip to the tutor can give bounce, dragon pulse, water pulse, icy wind, outrage, signal beam and snore.

You can evolve into Seadra from level 32 for a nice set of stat increases: a 25 boost in all areas, leading to the interesting ones being base 95 for defence and special attack, and 85 for speed. You do, however, lose swift swim, it being replaced by poison point, where contact with you can result in being poisoned. The other abilities and typing remain the same.

Don't stroke this one...

Speaking of remaining the same: the level list. The TM list at least sees the arrival of hyper beam and giga impact, but no more. The tutor also contributes no more.

If you trade whilst holding a dragon scale, Seadra will become Kingdra. Kingdra gets a lot more balancing: HP is now 75, speed stays at 85, and everything else is 95, allowing it to be basically whatever it wants to be, which is rather odd, maybe even a little disappointing. To make up for this, you regain swift swim at the expense of poison point, and you also add dragon to your typing.

Not particularly regal...

That's not all you add, since you can also now learn yawn by level up and draco meteor (base 130 dragon special move that will lower the user's special attack by two stages). Yeah, not much new here either, is there.

All in all, this family is decent. Kingdra offers a fair few options and can be focused on speed with or without rain to outspeed some possible enemies. To be charitable, people may well have no idea what to expect and thus it is easy to catch them off guard, but no stats breaking the hundred base mark is a little depressing. Could be a bulky sweeper, could be a fairly hard hitting semi-tank. The choice is yours.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#115: Kangaskhan

Ooh goody, a one off Pokemon (and for those of you out there saying that Cubone, Marowak and Missingno should be combined with this post, I will usher you to a new layer of Hell).

Kangaskhan, being all alone, was always going to have to be pretty strong. 105 HP, 95 attack (ok, a little disappointing), 80 defence, 40 special attack (a low special attack doesn't matter if you have a good attack, I'd rather sacrifice the other attack I won't use than anything else), 80 special defence and 90 speed: this all looks like a nice sweeper setup. You're pretty quick, and with decent EV investment can outrun a lot of things, but then hey, if you don't, those defences and that HP enable you to soak up some punishment and get some pain delivery going. You're a normal-type, but with the awesome scrappy ability, you can use normal attacks on ghosts and keep their STAB. The other abilities are early bird (wakes you up after fewer turns) and the hidden inner focus (prevents flinching).

I love the cute look of wonder on the baby!

Hmm... comet punch has base 18 as a normal physical move but it can hit repeatedly in the turn and so can be used as a sash breaker (this may be redundant, see below), and leer drops the foe's defence by one stage. Fake out allows you to pop up at the start of a conflict and hit the foe for 40 base physical normal damage, but the main thing is causing the flinch, meaning it's a free bit of damage with no rebuttal. Hey, remember we had leer a little while ago? Well, tail whip does the same thing exactly, but may have a slightly cuter animation. Bite is a nice move, with base 60 physical dark attack and the chance to flinch, and later on you can get crunch, which is base 80 physical dark with the chance to lower defence instead. Double hit hits twice (wow!) for base 35 physical normal damage on each hit, and can thus be another (semi-redundant) sash breaker like the disappointing comet punch. Rage is just terrible: base 20 physical normal that gets better when you get hurt but you need to keep using it. It's really not worth taking rage...

What mega punch lacks in accuracy (85) and lack of secondary effect, it makes up for with a cool name and a decent base 80 normal physical, but shortly after you can take the more accurate, slightly weaker (base 70, 100 accuracy) dizzy punch, which also has a 20% chance of confusing the enemy. Chip away hits at base 70 normal physical whilst ignoring stat changes, and outrage is a base 120 physical dragon move that hits for a few turns before leaving the user confused. Suckerpunch is a dark physical move (base 80) that hits with priority, but will only work if the foe is readying a damaging move. You also get the combo of endure and reversal, meaning you can tank a physical hit down to 1HP before hitting back with huge power.

You do get a nice array of moves by TM, and I would seriously consider return and facade for the STAB. You could also take blizzard and ice beam, solar beam, thunder/bolt, earthquake or dig, shadow ball, protect, brick break, flamethrower or fire blast, aerial ace, rock tomb, round, focus blast, incinerate (to kill off berries), shadow claw, retaliate (with STAB, and what comes later, on a turn after a comrade has fallen... yikes), bulldoze, rock slide, hyperbeam or giga impact, rock smash, power-up punch, secret power, strength, surf and cut.

You can breed in some decent moves like counter, endeavour, foresight (if you lack scrappy), focus punch, hammer arm, stomp and uproar. If you drop in on the tutor, they can give you drain punch, the elemental punches, focus punch and endeavour, water pulse (not sure why), aqua tail, covet, iron tail, icy wind, low kick, spite and uproar.

Yeah, you get some decent stats above, and you get some decent choices for abilities, as well as some powerful moves, but the introduction of Mega Kangaskhan is a little frightening due to the nice boost to attack up to 125, the defences and speed up to 100, the HP staying as a good 105, and even special attack climbing to 60, along with a nice, shiny new ability: parental bond. Parental bond lets the little joey in the pouch hop out and do his thing by imitating its mummy and doing the same move as a follow-up, but at only 50% power. Still, you're doing 150% base power unless you self destruct, you use a multi hit move like comet punch, or a move with charge/recharge. You get the attack boost from power-up punch twice, however.

It looks like they're putting on a Broadway show...

Ok, Mega Kangaskhan has made a decent Pokemon a very viable option these days, yet if you don't want to run it as a mega, then you still have decent options available: you're sturdy enough to be a defence focused Pokemon, stalling for a few turns and doing some nice damage before you drop, and you could also be a slightly slow but bulky physical sweeper.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#114+ #465: Tangela and Tangrowth

Ok, it's a ball shaped tangle of vines that seemingly evolves into a tree version of cousin it? Eh...

Tangela looks either really dumb or like a creepy stalker/murderer. Going a little deeper than skin, we find that it has really good defence (115) and special attack (100), but rather poor special defence (40), which is a shame since its grass-type, and thus the weakness to fire and ice is exacerbated by the poor special defence, since most inbound hits will likely be of the special variety. 65HP is alright, 60 speed is mediocre and 55 attack isn't worth talking about. As far as abilities go, it's another Pokemon that gets chlorophyll (double speed in sunlight), and this is joined by leaf guard (again in sunlight, you cannot be afflicted by status, including from orbs and rest), and the hidden ability of regenerator (restore 1/3rd health when switching out or the battle ends). Yeah, grass-type and two of the potential abilities needing sunlight doesn't go too well...

The rookie error of stalkers everywhere: make sure your feet are hidden...

Ok, moves? Ingrain digs into the battle field and grants recovery of 1/16th maximum health per turn which is great for tanking, and also works as an anchor, preventing you from being roared, red carded, dragon tailed or whatever out of play. You also start with constrict (physical normal base 10 with the chance to lower the foe's speed by a stage, but only 10%, so it's dire). Sleep powder has been covered to death, and vine whip hits base 45 physical grass, which is rather meh. Absorb is an obvious early choice as a base 20 special grass that heals you (later, you can upgrade this for mega drain (base 40) and giga drain (base 75) so it'll get better, but for now it's a good way to heal yourself). I also don't want to talk about poison powder too much, but bind comes in as a weak (base 15) physical normal move that can attack for a few turns, trapping the foe in the battle unless they rapid spin out of it. Growth boosts attack and special attack by a stage, except in the sun, where it's two stages. Mega drain and knock off don't really need any coverage here, nor does stun spore, but natural gift's effects are different dependent upon the berry held by the user. We've also covered giga drain, really.

Ancient power gets the new paragraph because a) it's a pretty awesome move (base 60 special rock that when used can boost ALL your stats) and b) you have to have it on Tangela to evolve. Oh, and also, ancient power offers some coverage for you. Slam probably isn't all that (75 accuracy for 80 normal physical power with no secondary effects). Tickle lowers both the foe's physical stats by a stage, and wring out is made more powerful the more HP the foe has remaining. Grassy terrain boosts the power of grounded Pokemons' grass moves, restores the HP of grounded Pokemon by 1/16th their maximum and halves the power of earthquake, bulldoze and magnitude. The last move by level is power whip, a base 120 physical grass (85 accuracy) with no secondary effect.

Moving onto the TMs, you get the standard set, of course, including sunny day (no rain dance), solar beam (of course...), sludge bomb, thief, round, energy ball (base 90 grass special with a chance of lowering the foe's special defence). You also get swords dance, which is great for attack boosting (up by two whole stages). Infestation can come in for decent routine damage, whilst both hyper beam and giga impact are available. Cut and rock smash are there as HM moves, whilst reflect as a TM really does help to make a physical wall by doubling the defence of the team.

Having stuck on some Barry White, you can breed in amnesia (two stage special defence boost), confusion, flail and endeavour. Leaf storm can hit pretty hard as a grass special, but it causes the special attack stat to tank (a two stage drop). Leech seed can be in there for some decent routine damage as well as some decent routine healing. The other moves you can get are either what you've seen before or pretty redundant. Instead, go see the tutor for seed bomb, shockwave and snore in addition to things you could have had before.

I hope you learned ancient power (if not, why not, you muppet?), since that would enable you to evolve into Tangrowth and give us something else to look at. In one of the rare cases, you get a stat decrease in speed from 60 to 50, but elsewhere there are nice boosts: 100 HP, 100 attack, 125 defence, 110 special attack, and 50 special defence. I've heard a lot of people run assault vest on this with the decent attacking options negating the need for things like toxic stalling, so with the AV equipped, that would work out at basically 75 special defence and 187.5 defence. Abilities and type stay the same.

I just can't take this one seriously...

You only get the addition of block to the level list, which is pretty disappointing all round. The TM list grows a fair bit to add some versatility and coverage options with: earthquake, brick break, rock tomb, aerial ace, facade (ok it was there before, but now you have a workable attack stat), focus blast, pay back (to go with the poor speed), rock slide, bulldoze, poison jab and strength. The tutor adds nothing.

You've got a decent range of options in terms of moves if you evolve, with the stats to back them up, pretty much (well, except the speed). You could very much be at home on a trick room team as a mixed attacking sweeper, or whack on the assault vest and rely on the natural damage output without investment to make you a viable physical wall. The world is your creeper living stalker bush, as that old saying goes.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#113+ #242 + #440: Chansey, Blissey and little baby Happiny

Yay! We have a near unholy trinity of a generation one Pokemon with an added evolution in another generation AND a baby added further down the line! Yippee!!

I guess I'd better start with the baby, Happiny, which is arguably most likely obtained by breeding a Chansey which is holding a luck incense. Happiny can be caught in the wild whilst holding an oval stone, which we'll get to in a bit. I hate to admit the fact that I could find Happiny cute based on the egg/oval stone obsession it has if it wasn't so hideous. You know what else is ugly about Happiny? 5 in both physical stats. You read that right, there is no typo, not 15 or 50, but FIVE as base for both physical stats. Throw onto this 15 special attack and you see you won't be doing direct damage at any time, but 100 HP is pretty nifty, and goes well with base 65 special defence, making a potential wall. The speed is a mere 30. Natural cure is a good ability as it heals a status condition when you switch out, serene grace doubles the chance of an additional effect on a move, which would be amazing on something with attacking prowess, though it could be ok-ish here, and the hidden ability of friend guard reduces the damage done to allies in a multi-battle by 25%, which is great if you're into multi-battles. I guess I should tell you that you're normal-type, and you've resisted the fairy changes.

Is this Kirby after inhaling Zero-Suit Samus?

The level up list here is extensive: a whole massive FIVE moves, basically one for each base stat point in physical. Pound is the only directly damaging move with base 40 as a normal physical, so basically you may do 2 damage to the foe if you're lucky. Charm didn't resist the march of the fairies, but it's the same as it was as a normal move, lowering the foe's attack by two stages, but any normal attack will hammer you no matter how high your HP is. Copycat makes the user use the last move used by the opponent unless they didn't use a move or if they switch out that turn. Refresh cures poison, paralysis and burn, but not frozen or sleep. Sweet kiss has also changed from normal to fairy, but the effect is the same: it confuses the foe.

You get the standard TM list, and toxic is a great choice as probably the best way to inflict damage as it is independent of your dreadful stats. Sunny day and rain dance can work if you're running as an assistant in a multi-battle with friend guard, this could actually be brilliant. Protect could be worthwhile to stop physical hits butchering you, or just improve the special walling, and safeguard can protect the team from status inflictions. Light screen makes special walling even easier, as it doubles the team's special defence for 5 turns. Hail and sandstorm could be good since a slight chipping away of your huge HP could be worth it, again with the multi-battles for things like sand veil. Rest could be awesome as it heals you fully, and you can couple it with sleep talk quite well. Thunderwave, swagger and confide are all good options to annoy your foe. Grass knot could do quite well as a damaging move, and substitute can be amazing since you have so much HP to sacrifice to it.

If you really want to go for damaging moves, solar beam can go on with sunny day, frustration and return offer decent STAB options, psychic is a decent power psychic special move (no point in discussing power, more importantly it has a 10% chance of lowering the foe's special defence, which doubles with serene grace), shadow ball is a ghost special move that is a little less powerful than psychic but has twice the chance of the added effect, flamethrower is the same as psychic in power (90) with the same 10% chance but this time of inflicting a burn, whilst fire blast has been nerfed over the years down to 110 power and from 30 to 10% chance of the burn, and has lower PP and 85% accuracy, arguably making it less favourable than flamethrower. Incinerate is also a fire move, but much lower power (60), but the great thing about it is that it burns off the foe's berry or gem. Round, echoed voice, hidden and secret power all offer some damage, but even facade doesn't come recommended this time around with the abysmal stats.

As far as egg moves go, you can get counter, and since you'll take a huge hit to HP from any physical move, hoping the massive HP reserves keep you alive, you can destroy the foe as a one off since you reflect the physical damage back at them twice over. Helping hand can again work on a multi-team raising a team-mate's base power of the move they are using by 50%, and can be coupled with another assistant on a triple-battle. Aromatherapy and heal bell cure all status afflictions on the team, and endure lets you hang on to life if the incoming hit would prove fatal. Gravity pulls the foe down to earth to be hit by ground moves, Metronome picks randomly from an enormous pool of moves (not quite comprehensive), mud bomb has a 30% chance of lowering the foe's accuracy as well as being base 65 with 85% accuracy as a ground special. Natural gift inflicts damage based on the held berry with no secondary effect, and present is a really stupid move. I also don't like last resort, it hits hard, but it's basically like a hyper powered struggle that you've given up a move slot for, as it can only be used when all other PP has gone. Don't take last resort, please!

The tutor has rather a lot of moves on offer, such as covet, a base 60 normal physical move that steals the foe's held item, basically a normal version of thief. Endeavour drags the foe's HP down to what you are on, and drain punch is a base 75 physical fighting move that drains the foe's health and heals you a little. Several of the other moves you can get have been covered before (gravity, heal bell, helping hand, shockwave, last resort), whilst recycle could be a great addition alongside rest and a chesto berry. Snore can also work as well if you feel confident that you can do damage to a degree it matters. Uproar prevents foes from falling asleep and does decent normal special damage at base 90 (though this is neutralised by soundproof as an ability). You can also grab icy wind, water pulse and zen headbutt.

If you level up holding that oval stone we mentioned, you get the original Pokemon, Chansey. Ah, Chansey, seen very early on in the anime as being slave workers in Pokemon centres the world over... The only ability change is the loss of friend guard to make way for healer (30% chance of healing an adjacent ally's status condition at the end of each turn). You keep the 5s in the physical stats, but other than that, things pick up at least a little: 35 special attack, 105 special defence (nice for a special wall), 50 speed brings you past that pesky trickle of treacle running down that one degree slope, but the thing that really makes it is base 250HP.

What's with the fronds, Slave-Nurse?

I hate the fact that Happiny's whole moveset has been thrown away, or at least scattered around other moves.. This is becoming a slog for something not even that good. Yeah, you can carry forward the Happiny moveset through this, but now we have so much more to talk about... So we'll start with double-edge (normal physical base 120) which won't do too much damage, and you probably won't notice the recoil since your HP is enormous and it'll be around 3HP damage anyway. You also get defence curl to add a little bit to that dreadful base 5, pound survives but is still useless, and growl reduces the foe's attack by a stage to make sure they don't utterly destroy you. Tail whip pops up with refresh, and double slap hits a few times at base 15 normal physical for each hit. There's been nothing worthwhile so far, but soft-boiled actually changes things a little by acting as a seriously helpful healing move, transferring 20% of your HP to that of a friend outside of battle, and can also heal yourself by 50% of maximum HP. Bestow gives your held item to the target, which could be used in a sort of squire to a knight kind of role, or offloading something awful onto the foe, like a choice item that doesn't correspond to anything they actually want.

We know two things about minimize: it boosts evasion but makes you more susceptible to certain moves, like stomp. Take down is a less powerful version of double edge, and is thus rather useless. Sing is a 55% chance to induce sleep move, fling varies depending on what held item you have as it throws it away (which may work if you've stolen their item and you don't really want it, or if you want to steal another item later), heal pulse can heal the target (not yourself) by up to 50% of their HP, and egg bomb also comes up (base 100 normal physical with 75% accuracy with no secondary effect to actually make up for the accuracy that is approximate to my darts throwing). Healing wish is the last move by level up that we haven't yet talked about (you can get light screen and double edge again), and healing wish KO's the user, switching in a target which gets healed and cured of status.

Take Happiny's TM list and throw in a dash of ice beam, blizzard, hyper beam, thunder/bolt, earthquake and brick break to disappoint in how little damage you can actually do using powerful moves. Rock tomb, giga impact, bulldoze and rock slide also disappoint, grass knot is still there, and I failed to mention dream eater earlier for Happiny, but it's still here and does heavy special damage (if you have a special attack) and it actually drains the foe's health IF they are asleep. Wild charge comes in as an electric physical recoil move that just isn't worth it, power-up punch boosts your attack but it isn't really worth it, and nor is rock smash. Strength is reasonably powerful at base 80 physical normal, but dazzling gleam is arguably better despite lacking STAB as a fairy move since it's the same power but special, and special attack is far far better than physical on this egg monster. Seismic toss is actually added to the breeding list if you don't breed for a Happiny, and a few more moves are added to the tutor list: iron tail, the elemental punches, stealth rock, shockwave, focus punch (and since substitute is a viable option here then maybe use it for a change), and skill swap.

If you make friends with your Chansey, you can get a Blissey. Blissey has 255 HP, 10 in both physicals (wow, they actually doubled!), 75 special attack, 135 special defence and 55 speed. You do realise that eviolite on Chansey actually gives you better special defence at the cost of the damage output, 5 base in HP, and 2.5 reduction in physical defence. It's arguable that Chansey is a better shout if you want a fully special wall, but it's kinda debatable. You remain normal-type and you keep the abilities Chansey gave you.

YAY! Another pretty much spherical Pokemon!

There aren't really any additions to the movelists for Blissey, so we may as well just wrap this up. Yeah, it's a special wall that can just barely take a physical hit unless you intend on countering for enormous damage. You can work as a cleric or an assistant in double battles, and you can healing wish to really help out an injured sweeper. A lot of people pair it up with Skarmory (a physical wall), and that's all I can really say.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#111+ #112 + #464: Rhyhorn, Rhydon and Rhyperior

Ok, so we're on the 50th family, and that features the first Pokemon ever unveiled. Also, just before writing this, the blog passed 400 views, which was quite nice, so thank you.

Rhydon has stats that would be great if special didn't exist and speed wasn't an issue. Aside from 25 speed, the 80 HP, 85 attack and 95 defence would make it rather fearsome, even with just 30 special attack. The issue arises in that there may be special attacks coming in your way, hitting your awful special defence of 30. Since you're ground/rock-type, the ability lightning rod is slightly diminished, but it does drag electric attacks towards you, and if it wasn't for the immunity, you would get boosted special attack. Rock head prevents damage from the recoil on moves like double-edge. Reckless, the hidden ability, boosts the power of moves with recoil, which are things I personally don't like.

It looks like it's hiding after eating your toilet roll and shredding a cushion...

You start off with the base 65 normal physical move horn attack, along with tail whip that lowers the foe's defence by a stage. Fury attack carries a mere base 15 as a physical normal move, but it does hit up to 5 times in a turn, so potential 75 base as a sash breaker. Scary face lowers the foe's speed by two stages, and smack down hits as a base 50 rock physical that also removes the ground immunity of Pokemon that are flying, have levitate or have magnet risen, as well as hitting Pokemon that are mid-fly, bounce or sky drop for double damage. Stomp hits as a base 65 normal physical move with the chance to flinch, and also doubles in power against foes that have used minimize, yet that's actually quite rare. Bulldoze is a base 60 ground physical move that can lower the foe's speed, and chip away is a base 70 normal physical move that ignores stat changes. Rock blast is another multi-hitting attack like fury attack, but is rock-type and is base 25, leading to a maximum of base 125. Drill run hits at base 80 as a ground physical with 95 accuracy and an increased critical hit ratio, and take down is the first recoil move that's affected by both rock head and reckless, hitting as a base 90 normal physical with 85 accuracy. Stone edge is a base 100 rock physical move that can flinch and has 80 accuracy.

You'll probably evolve there, but otherwise you can take earthquake, megahorn (base 120 physical bug, 85 accuracy) and horn drill (normal physical OHKO move that gains greater accuracy from the initial 30 the higher level you are than the foe).

Take the standard TM list, and then throw in ice beam and blizzard, thunder/bolt, dig, earthquake, smack down, flamethrower, fire blast, rock tomb, rock polish (boosts your speed), rock slide, poison jab, strength and rock smash. Ignore ice beam, blizzard, thunder/bolt, flamethrower and fire blast as they are useless special attacks and won't hurt the enemy at all, but poison jab is a decent shout, and so is strength, in a way.

You can breed in counter, crunch (I would sorely recommend), crush claw (base 75 and 50% chance of lowering the foe's defence), curse (since you won't miss the loss of speed, this could be good), dragon rush (base 100, 75 accuracy, decent flinch chance and never misses a minimized foe, also hitting them for double damage). Further to these, you can take the elemental fangs, iron tail, metal burst (basically counter, but doesn't work only with physical attacks, it hits for 1.5x the damage you sustained from the last special or physical attack), skull bash is a very heavy hitting recoil move (base 130), and rock climb hits at base 90 with 85 accuracy and can confuse the foe.

For a nice change, the tutor offers an enormous list, featuring aqua tail, dragon pulse, drill run (in case you missed it), earth power, endeavour, icy wind, iron tail, shockwave, snore, spite, stealth rock (which adds a niche), uproar and superpower, which hits hard as a base 120 physical fighting move that lowers your physical stats by a stage.

If you choose to evolve, you get Rhydon (ha, like in the Mafia), which features air bags as standard... I mean upgrades to speed and both specials of 15 (so speed is now 40 and the specials reach the dizzying highs of 45), along with 105 HP, 130 attack and 120 defence. You keep the same types and abilities, so...

FREE HUGS!!!

The level list is the same as above, and of course so is the breeding list, but there are some moves added to the TM pool, such as brick break, focus blast, giga impact, dragon tail, cut, and for some unknown reason, surf. The tutor also adds some move moves to the repertoire, featuring the elemental punches, focus punch, block and outrage (basically the dragon move that hits hard for a few turns and leaves you confused).

If you trade a Rhydon with a protector, it will evolve again to Rhyperior (as of generation four), and now comes with a three CD changer, smart glass sunroof, 115 HP, 140 attack, 130 defence, 55 in the specials, 40 speed and a three year warranty. You lose rock head as an ability and replace it with solid rock, which reduces the damage sustained from super-effective hits by 25%. It's a shame that reckless didn't get replaced.

Captain of the Pokemon darts team...

What's new in the level moves? Well, at level 42 (I've included the level so you don't miss out on this treat), you get the fighting move hammer arm, hitting base 100 physical and lowering your speed by a stage. You can also get rock wrecker, which is basically a rock giga impact spin-off that is neutralised by bullet proof. TM moves: you now get hyper beam, flash cannon, shadow claw, payback, and power-up punch. The tutor disappoints.

Being the first Pokemon drawn does actually raise this a little in my estimation. The massive attack and defence, along with the HP means you can physically wall and do some heavy damage, but you're too susceptible to special attacks, dropping you from a serious contender to just a physical wall or a stealth rocker. Still, that attack is great, and you get good mileage.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#109+ #110: Koffing and Weezing

YAY! More spheres with faces! Originality for the win, since generation one was the only one with original thought...

Ok, aside from being bland in terms of shape, what does Koffing offer? Well, a poison-type, for starters, with a heap of defence (95) and decent offensive capability in both physical (65) and special (60) attack. Where you get let down is with HP (40), special defence (45) and speed (shocking at 35). Trick room, else you're fragile if hit by special moves to the point you aren't worth it. Your one and only ability is levitate, which removes the weakness to ground unless you get smacked down, for example.

Here we have the young smoker, who thinks it's cool and makes them feel good...

Poison gas is a decent move for multi-battles, as it poisons all adjacent foes at 90 accuracy, and the other starting move is the old standard of tackle. Smog has base 30 damage as a poison special move (so it gets STAB) but at a low 70 accuracy, yet this is almost made up for with a good 40% chance of poisoning the target. Smokescreen lowers the foe's defence by a stage, whilst assurance is a base 60 dark physical move that doubles in power if the foe has already taken damage (even if self-inflicted) during the turn. The next move by level is clear smog, and later on, several steps later, you get haze, both of which reset all stat changes to zero (haze does to all, clear smog does to a specific target). The differences between haze and clear smog is that haze covers everyone, so you can remove your own debuffs, whilst clear smog is target specific and does damage as base 50 poison special without an accuracy check. Sludge is a decent power (65) poison special move that carries a chance of poisoning the foe, and self-destruct fills in the gap before haze, remaining as it ever is: a seriously powerful normal physical move (base 200) that will also kill you. Gyro ball is a great move here as a steel physical that hits harder the slower you are, and considering snails can easily overtake Koffing whilst also texting and dragging a yacht through syrup, you'll hit pretty hard with this, or at least should. The last move before the evolution level is sludge bomb (three guesses what type), which is base 90 special and has a 30% chance to poison the foe.

If you don't fancy evolving at the first juncture, you can get explosion, which is the same as self-destruct, but does 250 base rather than 200 and is still an awful idea. Next up is destiny bond, which basically means that (if you attack first) if you are KO'd that turn the foe who defeated you will also faint, and if you go last, then it carries over to the next turn. Consider that you faint before they do, so if this is your last Pokemon, you still lose, really. Belch is an extremely (base 120) powerful poison special move that can only be used if you have consumed a berry earlier on in the battle. The last move is memento, which faints the user to drop the foe's offensive stats by two stages. You don't faint if they protect or have a substitute, but if they have another form of immunity to stat changing, you still die for no reason. With self-destruct, explosion and memento, it's like this Pokemon wants to die.

Since nearly everything on the level list screams "kill me", frustration may well be an ideal move, so long as you don't walk around much and regain the Pokemon's trust. In addition to the standards from TM town, you can take venoshock (may well be worth it), hidden power (ok, it's a standard, but was worth saying), thunder/bolt, shadow ball, flamethrower and fire blast, round, incinerate, infestation and dark pulse as special options, and on the physical side you can take facade, payback and thief, as well as all the filler like rest, taunt, substitute, sleep talk and protect.

If you feel the need to breed, you can pick up curse, which won't hurt since your speed is so low that lowering it won't be much of a disadvantage, grudge will remove PP from the move that kills you so long as you haven't used another move in between, pain split averages your HP and the HP of your foe, and psywave hits dealing damage that is anywhere between half and one and a half times your level. Psybeam has a base 65 psychic special feel to it that could be useful, spite saps PP from the last move that hit you, and you do get the stockpile set (i.e. with spit up and swallow). It is possible to chain breed in toxic spikes. The tutor only offers snore, shockwave (base 60 electric special), uproar, pain split and spite.

If and when you evolve, Koffing sprouts a lump on its side, which also grows a face: two balls joined together makes Weezing. They may not look as happy, but they do get nice increases to all stats by 25, making them 65 HP, 90 attack, 120 defence (which is pretty good, allowing you to wall), 85 special attack, 70 special defence and 60 speed. Attack and special attack allow you to dole out some damage, but the poor(ish) special defence and HP mean you can't truly tank anything, and the increase in speed makes trick room and gyro ball less favourable. You keep being poison-type, and your ability remains levitate.

The tobacco addiction has caught up to them, and now they beg for death...

Aside from the level of the moves increasing after evolution at level 35, there's no difference to the level up list, so looking to the TM list you find the inclusion of hyper beam and giga impact to be rather token. Since the breeding list can't change, you can pray for something from the tutor, and you can be sorely let down with no change here either. How dull is that.

With the expression on Weezing's face, you can tell it's begging for death if you couple that with the movesets. You do get nice defence, and if you take the time to breed in toxic spikes, you could do ok, forcing physical attackers to switch out on you. You also have a great niche with clear smog and haze, which run similar duties but the subtle differences make them both viable on a move list. The choice is yours here, but it will never dine at the top table as far as I can see...

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#108+ #463: Lickitung and Lickilicky

You remember when I called out Cloyster and Shellder for looking perverse? Well now we have Pokemon that are basically giant, licking tongues (hence the names). Yeah, err...

Lickitung has great HP (base 90), but aside from that, it's fairly dull: base 55 attack, 60 special attack, both defences at 75 and 30 speed, so a setup for maybe a lower tier tank, since the defences are no way high enough to really soak up too much damage. 30 defence would probably be a gift for trick room and gyro ball (which it doesn't get). You get the abilities own tempo (can't be confused, even if it would confuse itself), oblivious (can't be captivated, infatuated or taunted) and the hidden ability of cloud nine (weather effects are negated). Own tempo is pretty awesome, since you could thrash or, for double or triple battles, target Lickitung with something like swagger. Get used to these abilities since Lickilicky retains them. You are purely normal-type, to add to the boredom.

I'm sure they used to use this to advertise Skips...

I think you could have predicted that you would get the move lick in there somewhere: it's a ghost physical that can cause paralysis and hits only at base 30. Supersonic is so inaccurate (55) that it's hardly worth it, as all it does is cause confusion. Defence curl buffs defence by a stage, which is handy for the walling/tanking prospects. Knock off remains its handy self (dark physical base 65 and removes a foe's held item), and wrap hits with low power (base 15 normal physical) but can trap foes for a few turns, hurting them at the end of each turn they are trapped. Stomp is reasonably powerful (65 normal physical) and doubles in power when hitting minimized foes. Disable disables the foe's last used move, and slam hits hard (80 normal physical) but has poor accuracy (75). Rollout is the usual rollout: it hits base 30 rock physical and gains power on successive turns, but for Lickitung, if it's levelled up with this move, it will evolve. Also, with defence curl, you get the combo.

If you hold off evolving, then you get some other reasonable moves that are all oddly physical focused for a Pokemon with a slightly better special attack stat (other than one move we'll get to). Chip away is a decent move as it hits base 70 physical normal, ignoring stat changes. Me first steals the foe's forthcoming move (so long as it is damaging) and increases power by 50%, and refresh cures paralysis, burn or poison status. Screech drops the foe's defence by two stages. Power whip has very high damage as a physical grass move (base 120) but lacks accuracy at 85, and the one special move by levelling is wring out, which hurts the opponent more the higher percentage HP the foe has remaining, which basically means it can crucify a Blissey.

You do get the standards from the TM list, and if you want to tank, then I would tentatively suggest things like toxic, rest, sleep talk, substitute, protect, maybe attract and dragon tail. Of course, if you want to hit hard, there are things like ice beam/blizzard, return, earthquake, hyper beam (yeurck), thunder/bolt, solar beam (and sunny day), dig, surf (and rain dance), flamethrower/fire blast, shadow ball, rock slide, facade (with STAB for a change), retaliate, brick break, strength and dream eater.

For egg moves, belch is probably a good shout if you run with a berry, whilst belly drum is alright since you have huge HP reserves and good defences, granting all 6 stages of attack boost for half your health (feels like the Shinigami eye deal from Death Note)... Curse will cut your own awful speed for some nice boosts to attack, but hammer arm (heavy recoil), magnitude (unreliable and earthquake is available), and muddy water (less accurate, no overworld utility but does lower the foe's accuracy, surf is still better) are all basically useless. Sleep talk and snore are pretty handy if you want to run a rest set, and smelling salts hits hard, especially if the foe tries to sleep against you since the base 70 physical normal doubles up and wakes them. Zen headbutt is pretty decent with base 80 (90 accuracy) as a physical psychic with a chance to flinch. The tutor can offer the elemental punches, as well as bind and aqua tail. Also from the tutor you can get focus punch, icy wind, iron tail, knock off, shock wave, water pulse (which you know I like) and zen headbutt.

So you've evolved into another tongue monster, Lickilicky. What do you get from that? Well, you get base 110 HP (which is pretty nice), as well as 95 in both defences, 85 in physical attack and 80 in special attack (this seems more fitting), and 50 speed. You've still got the same abilities, and you remain normal-type.

I don't want to talk about this one...

The only move added on for level up is gyro ball, which was desperately missing from Lickitung's moveset, but other than self destruct and explosion you'll be left bored by the TM list. The tutor also offers nothing more than what was there previously.

You can run this as a wall or tank, but there's also the potential of a belly drum set yet you lack the priority move of Azumarill, so this only really works with trick room support. There's a medium amount of utility here: since you're fairly survivable you could last a few turns and try dealing some damage, but there's no call to greatness here.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#104 + #105, #236 + #237: Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, the baby Tyrogue and the other one, Hitmontop

Ok, so we get a gimmick, two Pokemon named after martial arts actors and a baby, as well as quite possibly the most annoying method of evolution ever (this is basically the gimmick, but it gets far worse).

We'll start with the baby, Tyrogue, which is easy to comment on with regards to the stats: they're all 35... Yup, awful, but the gimmick requires balance here as the evolutions depend on the change in stats as they grow in level (see each one later). You've got here a fighting-type with guts (boosts attack when hit with a status problem, so probably pair this with facade), steadfast (raises speed every time you get flinched), and the hidden vital spirit (prevents this Pokemon from falling asleep). These are all OK, with guts actually being quite good, and vital spirit having its uses.

Oh my God! Miley Cyrus?

You only get four moves by level up, which you actually start with. These moves are tackle, helping hand, fake out (hits first and makes the foe flinch on the first turn, with a base 40 physical normal) and foresight (removes the immunity of an opposing ghost-type to fighting and normal moves). The TM spread is rather standard as well, if a bit limited. Brick break and low sweep are good physical STAB choices, whilst strength is a good shout, and earthquake is available. Sunny day and rain dance are available, so you could setup weather, frustration and return are good calls, protect is almost essential for something this weak, and facade is arguably the best move you can take as base 70 normal physical which doubles with a status problem (add in guts' 50% attack boost and then throw on a toxic orb, you get some very damaging turns before it's finally eaten your HP). Rest, thief, rock slide, bulldoze, round, sleep talk, toxic... Yeah, take your pick.

So if you've bred out from the other Hitmons, you can get bullet punch as a steel priority physical (base 40), counter, endure, feint, mach punch (basically bullet punch but fighting, not steel), hi jump kick (hugely powerful fighting physical at base 130, but if you miss, you get badly hurt), rapid spin, pursuit and vacuum wave (basically a fighting special priority base 40). The tutor offers covet, helping hand, low kick, role play (but don't give your foes one of your good abilities!), snore and uproar.

Now's where it gets annoying, this Pokemon becomes a choose your own adventure based on the distribution of attack and defence stats (don't confuse the stats with base stats, as EVs and IVs affect the final stats). If you wind up with higher attack than defence, you wind up with Bruce Lee Hitmonlee. Base stats wise, you go to 50 HP, 120 attack, 53 defence, 35 special attack (seriously!), 110 special defence (really quite good, as a nice surprise), and 87 speed. The abilities have changed, too, bringing in limber (can't be paralysed), reckless (recoil moves hit harder) and the hidden unburden, which is totally worth it! Unburden doubles your speed when you lose your held item, whether by use (like eating a berry, or using a sash), and the doubling also includes the investments. Aside from the special attack, the only other stagnation is in the typing: fighting only.

Yeah, this doesn't look all that much like Bruce Lee. Miley was the better look-a-like...

You start off with reversal, which hits harder the more injured you are, so basically build attack and speed, focus sash, make sure you're fragile, get hit down to 1HP (saved by the sash), and then profit. If you actually want other moves, you can grab close combat, which lowers your defences when used but is base 120 physical fighting. Mega kick is a base 120 physical normal but lacks accuracy at only 75. Revenge is a move with reduced priority, base 60 physical fighting, which doubles in power when you've taken damage in that turn. Double kick's effect is rather obvious, hitting twice with base 30 as a physical fighting. Meditate boosts your attack by one stage, rolling kick is a fighting physical base 60 with 85 accuracy and a chance to flinch, whilst jump kick is just a weaker hi jump kick, as previously mentioned. You can also get brick break by level up, along with focus energy and feint, followed by hi jump kick in the level order.

Mind reader basically makes your next move hit regardless other than if they protect, foresight has been explained, wide guard defends the team from multi-damaging moves like earthquake (basically ones that hit the whole team), blaze kick has base 85 physical as a fire move, and endure means you will survive, so could setup reversal, and then you just get mega kick, reversal and close combat.

The TM list gains little, but what it does gain is rather good, with poison jab, retaliate and stone edge, and the tutor now introduces bounce and focus punch.

If you had higher defence than attack, you get a different result from evolution at level 20: Jackie Chan Hitmonchan. Again base 50 HP and 35 special attack, with 110 special defence, but attack is only (I say only) 105, the defence is up to 79 and the speed is 76. In my book, the boost to defence isn't worth the loss of speed and attack, but you do get different moves and abilities. Oh, and hey, the abilities are again all different to make things really nice and easy (haha... brilliant): keen eye (prevents loss of accuracy), iron fist (punch moves gain 20% power) and the hidden inner focus, which prevents flinching.

Again, not really Jackie Chan...

You start with the familiar close combat, focus punch and revenge, along with counter (if the last damage incurred was from normal or fighting then counter will do twice as much damage to the foe as they did to you), and comet punch (base 18 normal physical hitting 2 to 5 times, averaging out at just over 3 times). Agility boosts speed by two stages, whilst pursuit, mach punch, bullet punch, feint and vacuum wave have already been discussed and bore me too much to rewrite. Quick guard defends against moves that have increased priority, and you can get the three elemental punches (fire, thunder, ice, all base 75 with the chance to inflict their status). Sky uppercut has 85 power as physical fighting and can hit flying, bouncing and sky dropping targets. Mega punch is less powerful than mega kick (80) but has higher accuracy (85) whilst remaining physical normal. Detect is basically protect, and the final three moves are counter, focus punch and close combat.

The TM list is identical to that of Hitmonlee, the egg move list the same as that of Tyrogue. The tutor list takes that of Tyrogue and adds in the elemental punches, as well as drain punch, which could be useful.

Here's where it gets REALLY stupid: to get the other Hitmon, Hitmontop (which represents capoeira), you need equal attack and defence, which is insanely hard to get. If you manage this, you get the 50HP, 35 special attack and 110 special defence, and a mere 70 speed. Even stupider, of course you get equal physical stats, but at 95, that's actually better defence than the one where you focused defence... Why? You get the cool abilities of intimidate (lowers the attack of the foe), technician (moves with power of 60 or less get a 50% boost, so keep that in mind when choosing from damage outputs) and the hidden ability of steadfast (increases speed when flinched). I cannot stress how cool technician is, since a lot of those weaker moves get nice secondary effects, like greater status affliction chances, or things like ancient and hidden power among others.

Ok, so this may well be someone like Cristiano Ronaldo, since it's thrown itself over...

Endeavour, close combat, rolling kick (base 60 and thus technician boosted, hereafter highlighted by *) and revenge appear at the start. Focus energy is still there as a waste of a move, along with pursuit* (doubles in power on a foe switching out, so hits base 80 as a dark physical, normally base 40, doesn't get boosted further than 80). Quick attack* is a nice way to cover for your poor speed, and triple kick has accuracy of 90 per kick, hitting up to three times, increasing from base 10 to 20 to 30 as physical fighting. Rapid spin* is a great niche move, allowing you to clear hazards and trapping things as well as being a weak normal physical move (base 20). Counter, feint and agility are all also on the list.

Gyro ball is a move that hits harder the slower you are, and base 70 speed isn't really slow enough for this to be great unless it gets a technician boost, and I'm not bothering with this too much: it's steel physical. Wide guard, quick guard, detect, close combat and endeavour complete the list.

We've seen the list of moves from TMs before, and the breed and tutor lists are identical to those of Tyrogue.

This list of Pokemon is exclusively male and can only be bred from Dittos, explaining the boring breed list. The movelists are boring (incredibly so) with a lack of variation other than the elemental punches, and with the really annoying evolutionary mechanic (as well as the absurd defence differences between Hitmonchan and Hitmontop (oh, and the odd naming) makes this a line I've pretty much ignored. Yes, there are some uses, especially with unburden or technician, but the lack of raw speed is depressing, and the lack of variety is awful. There are better alternatives, and pure fighting is decent enough but an added type could be great.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)