#146: Moltres

So we now reach number three, the final of the Spanish legendary birds, the majestic phoenix Moltres.

So, Moltres... This again suffers from the 580 syndrome, and is basically the same as Zapdos in stats with the same HP and special attack (90 and 125 respectively), and with similar everything else, with a few swaps. This leads to 100 physical attack, 90 speed, the defences swapped (90 physical and 85 special), and the same pressure ability as the standard. This time, the hidden ability is flame body, which is pretty much the same as static but results in a burn instead of paralysis, and can be used to hatch eggs faster. Oh, and you're flying/fire this time.

I more imagine this kicking young Harry Potter's ass than dragging him through the sewers...

We have the same deranged move situation again, this time running through roost (we know this one), hurricane (which pops up through this trio quite a lot as a special flying move with 110 damage, 70 accuracy and the chance to ignore the accuracy check in rain, though that said it will be ruined by sunny day), sky attack (base 140 flying physical with a charging turn and 90 accuracy, with the chance to flinch the foe, too, but still not really worth it when fly exists), heat wave (base 95 fire special with 90 accuracy, 10% chance of inflicting a burn and can hit all adjacent foes), wing attack (base 60 physical flying attack with good accuracy and huge PP as 35PP, and can hit ANYONE other than the user, so the middling power is the only drawback), and then ember (base 40 fire special with the chance to burn the foe). All of these before the actual levels kick in.

When the levels kick in, they still don't really matter until the last four before level 50, do they? Fire spin is a fire special move with only base 35 power and 85 accuracy (and 10 less PP than ember), but it does trap the foe for a few turns to do regular slight damage, so there's that. I'm bored of describing agility on these ones, so I'll go straight to endure, which allows you to survive a hit, even if you get taken down to 1HP, and then you get ancient power YET AGAIN! You should know flamethrower, which is a base 90 fire special with 100 accuracy, the chance to burn the foe and 5 more PP than heat wave (which has 10), so that leads to a hard decision... Safeguard prevents the team being afflicted by status problems for a while, and the other move you'll no doubt find on it is air slash, a base 75 flying special move that can hit any target you so wish with a good chance of a flinch and 95 accuracy.

Sunny day is an interesting choice since it will boost your fire moves and remove the charging on solar beam (which comes up next but one as a base 120 grass special) but it will also kill the accuracy of hurricane, so the choice is yours. Up comes heat wave again, and since that's written up above, just go back... Solar beam is next as I hinted, then sky attack, roost and hurricane (see above).

Yet again there are no egg moves (for obvious reasons), and the TM list is very familiar to the other two, but of course lacking ice and electric moves, including hail. You still get U-turn, roar, toxic, return, steel wing, sandstorm and facade. This time you get solar beam and flamethrower again, along with fire blast, overheat (base 130 special fire, 90 accuracy, 5PP and kills your stats), flame charge (base 50 fire physical that boosts your speed a stage on use), will-o-wisp inflicts a burn, and incinerate destroys the foe's berry along with dealing base 60 fire special damage. Sky drop is back, and the HMs are the same again. Moving on to the tutor to see if we can find something really new that offers any sort of coverage will leave you disappointed: just 4 moves, being sky attack, heat wave, snore and tail wind.

I'd be tempted to argue that this is the weakest of the three, but looks pretty, and still has good stats to back it up. You can really use a mixed attacking set, if only to allow for U-turn, return and maybe even flame charge as alternatives or utility, flame charge making up a little for the lower speed than Zapdos for allowing a free stage boost. You can still maybe take a hit or two, especially with some nice resistances and the ground immunity, but stealth rock will mess you up like mad. You also need to decide: rain or shine?

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

Oh, and for the few of you who read this far (or this at all), I'm planning soon to introduce some companion Youtube series (when I have some time after this silly season I'm in the middle of and when the generation one run is done). I have two ideas to put to you:
1) battle videos: basically I upload some of my online battles from Y and Alpha Sapphire, and this will make me do some more of this, which you can then issue challenges such as just a duel challenge or a challenge team, though Matthew (Lizzie's brother) and I have a good set of these already founded
2) WonderTrade Adventures: I sort out something (halfway) decent to stick on wondertrade, whether it's something cool I've bred or something rare I've caught, and we keep trading what we receive until we get something decent.

Bare in mind I don't have the fancy gadgets to do proper recording people like Pimpnite and Verlis have setup, so it will be on a cheapo handheld recorder we bought when I had an awkward run trying to vlog. I'd like some feedback on the ideas and which you'd rather I did first. Thanks.

#138 + #139: Omanyte and Omastar

Right, first off, sorry I've missed out on two days: I've been majorly busy with real work. Secondly, it's time for the Lord Helix jokes to be confronted...

Omanyte is a fossil Pokemon, which means it was either a choice OR you found it from breaking rocks. What you get with it is a water/rock-type Pokemon with huge defence (100 for a first evolution is nothing to sniff at) and good special attack (base 90), but you are pretty slow (35), with poor special defence (55), poor attack (which isn't really an issue at base 40) and no health (base 35). Standard abilities give you swift swim (double your awful speed in rain, including the investment, which could actually just hinder you in a trick room team), and shell armour (prevents critical hits from hitting you), and the hidden ability is weak armour (being hit by a physical attack, your defence falls and your speed rises).

Have you considered growing a tentacle moustache?

The level up list features some interesting choices: the early moves of constrict and bite are fairly worthless with your awful attack (the former is base 10 normal and has a low chance of lowering the foe's speed and the latter being a base 60 dark physical move that can flinch the foe). Withdraw as a water move boosts your defence by a stage, but the next water move is the base 40 special move water gun, and you will get brine (base 65 special that hits twice as hard when the foe is on less than 50% HP). Between these two, you can also get rollout (base 30 rock physical that keeps attacking for a few turns, growing in power each time), leer (decreases the foe's defence by a stage) and mud shot (base 55 ground special that can lower the foe's speed). Protect is a standard move: you can't be hit for that turn, but successive use can lead to failure. Ancient power is a base 60 rock special attack that has the chance of boosting all of your stats, and so can be amazing in that respect.

Tickle will lower the target's physical stats by a stage each, whilst rock blast hits as a rock physical move with base 25 power, hitting up to 5 times in the turn. The last two moves are shell smash (basically lowers your defences to boost speed and the attack stats) and hydro pump (base 110 water special with only 80 accuracy).

In addition to the standard array of TMs, you can grab ice beam/blizzard (as well as hail, but this can hurt you), smack down (a rock physical move base 50 that knocks the foe out of the sky) and rock tomb and rock slide. Your low speed could be an advantage with gyro ball, and you can lessen your disadvantage with rock polish to boost speed a little, whilst scald is a base 80 water special move that can inflict a burn on your target. You can also take all the water HMs, surf being the best out of these as it has base 90 (not 80) and is the only specially focused one. Breeding moves can also lead to aurora beam (a base 65 ice special that can lower the speed of the foe), bubble beam (base 65 water special that can lower the speed of the foe), haze (removes stat changes) and knock off (base 65 dark physical that removes the foe's item), muddy water (just take surf) and hey, you can even get toxic spikes... If you plod over to the tutor, you can also gain access to earth power (a base 90 ground special), icy wind (as is so often the case, as has been iron defence, water pulse and snore). You can again get knock off and stealth rock as well, if you want to be a trapper.

Level up to 40 and you get to evolve into Omastar, who seems to have entered a punk-phase. To go with this new prickly appearance, you get a new level up move, which we'll come to in a bit, but no change to the abilities. Your base HP actually doubles to base 70, with attack up to 60 (not really worth it), special defence gets a much needed boost to 70 (so you can just about take a special hit), speed is still poor at 55, but physical defence is a mighty 125, with 115 special attack, making you a special attacking threat and a physical wall.

They just don't understand me, man!

As I alluded to, you get spike cannon as a new move from level, but it's a base 20 multi-hitting normal physical move, so that may have got your hopes up a bit. Stone edge is the big addition to the TM list (not hyper beam or giga impact), but even this is a trick, since it's a base 100 rock PHYSICAL move. THERE ARE NO OTHER GOOD MOVES... The tutor adds nothing.

In all honesty, I like this Pokemon. I trained one on Y because of the whole stupid Lord Helix crap and found it to be OK, kinda: nothing special, it was carried on the team by a Delphox and a Mega Aerodactyl, or by a Mewtwo, but it had a decent time and I didn't even set it as a trapper. The thing is, if you expect it to be awesome because of that meme, you'll be disappointed.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#122+ #439: Mr Mime and yet another baby, Mime Jr.

Yep, we have yet another late addition baby Pokemon that is overwhelmingly annoying, along with nightmare fuel...

Mime Jnr. sucks: it's like Chiaotzu in appearance (a little), fits with that bit in DBZA and has probably never beaten anyone on screen. You do actually get decent special stats of 70 special attack and 90 special defence, but 20 HP kinda crushes the possibility of special walling anything, and 60 speed is insufficient for anything, really. 45 defence means you won't take any physical hits, and 25 physical attack is poor, but doesn't really make any difference... As far as typing goes, well it isn't too bad as psychic/fairy, and the abilities are a little interesting. Soundproof negates the effect of sound based moves such as sing, supersonic, snore, boomburst whatever... Filter reduces the incoming super effective damage by 25% (so 2x damage becomes 1.5x, 4x becomes 3x) so this can prevent massive damage, but you'll still probably die, and the hidden ability technician adds a 50% boost to moves with power 60 or less, which is petty awesome (moves affected by this will receive a *).

If only it got self-destruct!

So you start with tickle (drops both of the foe's physical stats by a stage) and barrier (raises the user's defence by two stages) along with confusion* (base 50 psychic special move that can cause confusion in the foe). Copycat causes the user to use the last move used by the target, and meditate boosts your attack by a stage (which could be useful for a baton pass team). Double slap* hits 2 to 5 times as base 15 physical normal, and mimic (which is needed to be in the moveset to evolve into Mr. Mime) copies the last move used into its space. Encore forces the foe to repeat the last move used and has been massively downgraded, formerly lasting up to 7 turns it now lasts a fixed 3. Light screen boosts the special defence of the team for a few turns, whilst reflect does the same with the physical side of things.

Psybeam just misses out on technician by virtue of base 65 psychic special damage, and substitute creates a substitute to take the next hit or so for you at the expense of some of your HP (which allows for more comfortable baton passing or focus punching, along with just dodging some heavy damage or stat/status affliction). Recycle allows you to recover a previously used berry, trick allows you to swap items with the foe, and psychic is something we all really should know by now (base 90 psychic special). Role play allows you to lose your ability and take that of the target, whilst baton pass allows you to switch out, passing on stat boosts, aqua rings, leech seed income and substitutes (for example) to the Pokemon that comes in (entire teams are built around this premise, allowing significant stat boosts to be passed to a sweeper or to a stored power user). The final level move is safeguard, which prevents status afflictions to the team.

In addition to the old standards from TMs, you also get psyshock, thunder/bolt, solar beam, psychic, shadow ball, brick break, thunder wave, thief*, round*, charge beam*, infestation*, trick room, dream eater and grass knot. Hidden power gets technician boost*. Breeding can get you fake out*, confuse ray, future sight, hypnosis, icy wind*, healing wish, nasty plot, wake up slap and some other interesting options. The tutor gives you loads, arguably the most interesting of which (that you can't get from elsewhere) are covet, drain punch, focus punch (sadly all physical), snatch, uproar, snore and shockwave.

If you leveled up with mimic, you can now get Mr. Mime and several sleepless nights from its 3D animation. Along with this new-found bed wetting and insomnia, you get boosts to all stats: 40HP, 45 attack, 65 defence, 100 special attack, 110 special defence and 90 speed, so not dreadful. The type and abilities remain constant.

"Give me your soul, children!"

You get some new moves available from the get-go. Misty terrain is basically a fairy counterpart to grassy terrain, and reduces the impact of dragon moves (which Mr. Mime is immune to). Magical leaf* is a decent grass special move at base 60, quick guard protects against priority moves, wide guard protects against moves that can hit the whole team, power swap switches any stat changes to both attacks with the changes applied to the foe, whilst guard swap does the same with your defences, and then we just get the same level set as before. Hyper beam, giga impact, focus blast, energy ball and payback (possible *) are added to the TM list with aerial ace*, power up punch* and dazzling gleam. The tutor adds in the elemental punches, iron defence, foul play, and zen headbutt, as well as skill swap.

All in all, the stats and abilities are there to be of some use, but I personally hate this Pokemon: it's creepy, it's annoying and I just don't get it. It can be used as a baton pass chain member, it can be used as a weak special sweeper, but the moveset is pretty odd, the design is awful, the stats are awkward and yeah, I just feel no attachment to it.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#120+ #121: Staryu and Starmie

After this recent run, IGN just told me that I was a 7.8: too much water...

Staryu... Well, it's a star in shape, at least. It's pretty fast (base 85), but aside from that and the special attack (base 70), then you'll be rather disappointed. 30HP, 45 physical attack and 55 in both defences. You get pure water typing, along with the abilities illuminate (utterly worthless in battle as it does nothing, but as a lead party member in the wild, the encounter rate increases dramatically), natural cure (heals status conditions when switching or when the battle ends) and analytic (hidden, if your target has already moved in the turn, you hit them 30% harder). None of these abilities is that great, since analytic gets shut down a bit by your nice speed. Natural cure is pretty good, I guess.

Yep, it's a star, all right...

Hmm... Tackle is the first move you get along with harden (boosts defence). You then can pick up water gun (water special base 40) and rapid spin (normal physical base 20 that can also be used to remove entry hazards, and so makes the Pokemon a good niche if you can find good things elsewhere). Recover isn't an awful move if you intend on hanging around, as it recovers 50% of your maximum HP, whilst psywave (which would gain STAB later on as a psychic special move except it's a fixed damage move) deals damage based on your level, between 0.5x and 1.5x the users level. Swift is a reliable hit, with base 60 normal physical and it won't miss unless the foe protects, flies up, tunnels down or dives under the ocean waves like a murderous Jacques Cousteau. Next up is bubble beam, which is base 65 water special with the chance to drop the foe's speed. You then get access to camouflage, which changes your type depending upon your environment (so in grass or with grassy terrain you become grass-type, in a volcano, you become fire-type, and in space you obviously become a dragon (duh!)). You get gyro ball, which I guess can be good if you get trick room-ed, but otherwise it's pretty much crap. We know brine: base 65 water special that doubles in power if the foe is below 50% HP.

You can minimize if you want the extra evasiveness that double team from the TM list would do without getting all the major disadvantages that come with minimize (like boosted damage from an incoming stomp). Reflect type does what the name suggests in that it changes your type to that of the foe, even if they have two types, but it won't work on Arceus due to the multitype ability. Power gem is a rock special move with base 80 and no added effects, confuse ray will confuse the foe, and psychic will become a STAB move when you evolve, hitting as a base 90 special move, I think you know what type it is. Light screen doubles special resistance of the team for a few turns, cosmic power boosts both defensive stats by a stage, and hydro pump is a very powerful (base 110) water special move that has only 80 accuracy and 5PP, so surf is a much better move, really.

Looking at TMs, you can grab the standards (including the aforementioned double team), along with ice beam/blizzard, thunder/bolt, hidden power, scald (base 60 water special with a chance to burn the foe), flash cannon (base 80 steel special with a 10% chance of lowering the foe's special defence), dazzling gleam (base 80 fairy special), surf, thunderwave, and then dive and waterfall that are physical water move. You get nothing from breeding, but the tutor offers water pulse (base 60 water special with the chance to confuse the foe), signal beam (base 75 bug special), snore, gravity (drops flying or levitating foes to the ground), recycle (gives you back a berry if you have used it), pain split (averages your HP and that of the foe so you could potentially get some decent healing out of this one but no killing blow), magic coat (reflects things like thunderwave, teeter dance and entry hazards, along with leech seed and attract), and finally icy wind (because everything seems to get this and snore, it's base 55 ice special that can lower the foe's speed).

If you want to use a water stone (not a book shop), then you can evolve into Starmie, which has a few more points and a boost of 30 to every stat, making them as follows: 60HP, 75 attack, 85 defence, 100 special attack, 85 special defence and 115 speed. This 'mysterious Pokemon' keeps the abilities you had before, but is now also psychic-type, which could be a blessing or a curse.

Ok, forget the star shape, the names make me think of a Lionel Richie song, I think...

You'll be wanting to get all the level up moves whilst as a Staryu, since the move list is basically binned and replaced with a very short version that is just hydro pump, water gun, rapid spin, recover, swift and confuse ray. Definitely get everything you want before using that water stone. The TM list gets psyshock as a nice addition (base 80 psychic special that hits the foe's defence, meaning it can go round special walls where psychic would fall flat, meaning you could actually have both on a moveset and not be laughed at), hyper beam and giga impact also both come in, as does dream eater, which would be great if you had a move that induced sleep on a foe, rather than on yourself. You can also grab grass knot, and trick room if you want to use gyro ball and analytic. Trick room is an interesting choice, certainly weird but potentially good, as you can get it up early using your good speed, which basically ensures you'll go last unless it's the rare situation where something could outspeed you. If you get the trick room up (say in a double battle), then analytic ability comes into play if you get hit, and gyro ball could do some real damage, else you could have trick room to undo someone else's trick room.

Skill swap, trick and wonder room now inhabit the tutor list in addition to what we saw before. Skill swap could be used to dump the almost pathetic illuminate ability onto someone else and get something much better in exchange, or transfer analytic onto a team mate if you feel it'll get hit before it can do its damage. Trick can swap your held item with that of the enemy (but exercise caution with this one), and wonder room will swap the defence and special defence of all Pokemon in play (stat modifiers stay the same).

I didn't think I would be saying this, but this family is actually seriously quite good. You get decent stats all round, with a very nice speed and good special attack. Rapid spin could guarantee this Pokemon a place on a team since it could well outshine most rivals for that position, and it could also pull double duty as a special sweeper with powerful moves, interesting typing and dazzling speed. The only let down is the abilities it has, but none of them actually hurt it. Really, you should consider this one.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#113+ #242 + #440: Chansey, Blissey and little baby Happiny

Yay! We have a near unholy trinity of a generation one Pokemon with an added evolution in another generation AND a baby added further down the line! Yippee!!

I guess I'd better start with the baby, Happiny, which is arguably most likely obtained by breeding a Chansey which is holding a luck incense. Happiny can be caught in the wild whilst holding an oval stone, which we'll get to in a bit. I hate to admit the fact that I could find Happiny cute based on the egg/oval stone obsession it has if it wasn't so hideous. You know what else is ugly about Happiny? 5 in both physical stats. You read that right, there is no typo, not 15 or 50, but FIVE as base for both physical stats. Throw onto this 15 special attack and you see you won't be doing direct damage at any time, but 100 HP is pretty nifty, and goes well with base 65 special defence, making a potential wall. The speed is a mere 30. Natural cure is a good ability as it heals a status condition when you switch out, serene grace doubles the chance of an additional effect on a move, which would be amazing on something with attacking prowess, though it could be ok-ish here, and the hidden ability of friend guard reduces the damage done to allies in a multi-battle by 25%, which is great if you're into multi-battles. I guess I should tell you that you're normal-type, and you've resisted the fairy changes.

Is this Kirby after inhaling Zero-Suit Samus?

The level up list here is extensive: a whole massive FIVE moves, basically one for each base stat point in physical. Pound is the only directly damaging move with base 40 as a normal physical, so basically you may do 2 damage to the foe if you're lucky. Charm didn't resist the march of the fairies, but it's the same as it was as a normal move, lowering the foe's attack by two stages, but any normal attack will hammer you no matter how high your HP is. Copycat makes the user use the last move used by the opponent unless they didn't use a move or if they switch out that turn. Refresh cures poison, paralysis and burn, but not frozen or sleep. Sweet kiss has also changed from normal to fairy, but the effect is the same: it confuses the foe.

You get the standard TM list, and toxic is a great choice as probably the best way to inflict damage as it is independent of your dreadful stats. Sunny day and rain dance can work if you're running as an assistant in a multi-battle with friend guard, this could actually be brilliant. Protect could be worthwhile to stop physical hits butchering you, or just improve the special walling, and safeguard can protect the team from status inflictions. Light screen makes special walling even easier, as it doubles the team's special defence for 5 turns. Hail and sandstorm could be good since a slight chipping away of your huge HP could be worth it, again with the multi-battles for things like sand veil. Rest could be awesome as it heals you fully, and you can couple it with sleep talk quite well. Thunderwave, swagger and confide are all good options to annoy your foe. Grass knot could do quite well as a damaging move, and substitute can be amazing since you have so much HP to sacrifice to it.

If you really want to go for damaging moves, solar beam can go on with sunny day, frustration and return offer decent STAB options, psychic is a decent power psychic special move (no point in discussing power, more importantly it has a 10% chance of lowering the foe's special defence, which doubles with serene grace), shadow ball is a ghost special move that is a little less powerful than psychic but has twice the chance of the added effect, flamethrower is the same as psychic in power (90) with the same 10% chance but this time of inflicting a burn, whilst fire blast has been nerfed over the years down to 110 power and from 30 to 10% chance of the burn, and has lower PP and 85% accuracy, arguably making it less favourable than flamethrower. Incinerate is also a fire move, but much lower power (60), but the great thing about it is that it burns off the foe's berry or gem. Round, echoed voice, hidden and secret power all offer some damage, but even facade doesn't come recommended this time around with the abysmal stats.

As far as egg moves go, you can get counter, and since you'll take a huge hit to HP from any physical move, hoping the massive HP reserves keep you alive, you can destroy the foe as a one off since you reflect the physical damage back at them twice over. Helping hand can again work on a multi-team raising a team-mate's base power of the move they are using by 50%, and can be coupled with another assistant on a triple-battle. Aromatherapy and heal bell cure all status afflictions on the team, and endure lets you hang on to life if the incoming hit would prove fatal. Gravity pulls the foe down to earth to be hit by ground moves, Metronome picks randomly from an enormous pool of moves (not quite comprehensive), mud bomb has a 30% chance of lowering the foe's accuracy as well as being base 65 with 85% accuracy as a ground special. Natural gift inflicts damage based on the held berry with no secondary effect, and present is a really stupid move. I also don't like last resort, it hits hard, but it's basically like a hyper powered struggle that you've given up a move slot for, as it can only be used when all other PP has gone. Don't take last resort, please!

The tutor has rather a lot of moves on offer, such as covet, a base 60 normal physical move that steals the foe's held item, basically a normal version of thief. Endeavour drags the foe's HP down to what you are on, and drain punch is a base 75 physical fighting move that drains the foe's health and heals you a little. Several of the other moves you can get have been covered before (gravity, heal bell, helping hand, shockwave, last resort), whilst recycle could be a great addition alongside rest and a chesto berry. Snore can also work as well if you feel confident that you can do damage to a degree it matters. Uproar prevents foes from falling asleep and does decent normal special damage at base 90 (though this is neutralised by soundproof as an ability). You can also grab icy wind, water pulse and zen headbutt.

If you level up holding that oval stone we mentioned, you get the original Pokemon, Chansey. Ah, Chansey, seen very early on in the anime as being slave workers in Pokemon centres the world over... The only ability change is the loss of friend guard to make way for healer (30% chance of healing an adjacent ally's status condition at the end of each turn). You keep the 5s in the physical stats, but other than that, things pick up at least a little: 35 special attack, 105 special defence (nice for a special wall), 50 speed brings you past that pesky trickle of treacle running down that one degree slope, but the thing that really makes it is base 250HP.

What's with the fronds, Slave-Nurse?

I hate the fact that Happiny's whole moveset has been thrown away, or at least scattered around other moves.. This is becoming a slog for something not even that good. Yeah, you can carry forward the Happiny moveset through this, but now we have so much more to talk about... So we'll start with double-edge (normal physical base 120) which won't do too much damage, and you probably won't notice the recoil since your HP is enormous and it'll be around 3HP damage anyway. You also get defence curl to add a little bit to that dreadful base 5, pound survives but is still useless, and growl reduces the foe's attack by a stage to make sure they don't utterly destroy you. Tail whip pops up with refresh, and double slap hits a few times at base 15 normal physical for each hit. There's been nothing worthwhile so far, but soft-boiled actually changes things a little by acting as a seriously helpful healing move, transferring 20% of your HP to that of a friend outside of battle, and can also heal yourself by 50% of maximum HP. Bestow gives your held item to the target, which could be used in a sort of squire to a knight kind of role, or offloading something awful onto the foe, like a choice item that doesn't correspond to anything they actually want.

We know two things about minimize: it boosts evasion but makes you more susceptible to certain moves, like stomp. Take down is a less powerful version of double edge, and is thus rather useless. Sing is a 55% chance to induce sleep move, fling varies depending on what held item you have as it throws it away (which may work if you've stolen their item and you don't really want it, or if you want to steal another item later), heal pulse can heal the target (not yourself) by up to 50% of their HP, and egg bomb also comes up (base 100 normal physical with 75% accuracy with no secondary effect to actually make up for the accuracy that is approximate to my darts throwing). Healing wish is the last move by level up that we haven't yet talked about (you can get light screen and double edge again), and healing wish KO's the user, switching in a target which gets healed and cured of status.

Take Happiny's TM list and throw in a dash of ice beam, blizzard, hyper beam, thunder/bolt, earthquake and brick break to disappoint in how little damage you can actually do using powerful moves. Rock tomb, giga impact, bulldoze and rock slide also disappoint, grass knot is still there, and I failed to mention dream eater earlier for Happiny, but it's still here and does heavy special damage (if you have a special attack) and it actually drains the foe's health IF they are asleep. Wild charge comes in as an electric physical recoil move that just isn't worth it, power-up punch boosts your attack but it isn't really worth it, and nor is rock smash. Strength is reasonably powerful at base 80 physical normal, but dazzling gleam is arguably better despite lacking STAB as a fairy move since it's the same power but special, and special attack is far far better than physical on this egg monster. Seismic toss is actually added to the breeding list if you don't breed for a Happiny, and a few more moves are added to the tutor list: iron tail, the elemental punches, stealth rock, shockwave, focus punch (and since substitute is a viable option here then maybe use it for a change), and skill swap.

If you make friends with your Chansey, you can get a Blissey. Blissey has 255 HP, 10 in both physicals (wow, they actually doubled!), 75 special attack, 135 special defence and 55 speed. You do realise that eviolite on Chansey actually gives you better special defence at the cost of the damage output, 5 base in HP, and 2.5 reduction in physical defence. It's arguable that Chansey is a better shout if you want a fully special wall, but it's kinda debatable. You remain normal-type and you keep the abilities Chansey gave you.

YAY! Another pretty much spherical Pokemon!

There aren't really any additions to the movelists for Blissey, so we may as well just wrap this up. Yeah, it's a special wall that can just barely take a physical hit unless you intend on countering for enormous damage. You can work as a cleric or an assistant in double battles, and you can healing wish to really help out an injured sweeper. A lot of people pair it up with Skarmory (a physical wall), and that's all I can really say.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#109+ #110: Koffing and Weezing

YAY! More spheres with faces! Originality for the win, since generation one was the only one with original thought...

Ok, aside from being bland in terms of shape, what does Koffing offer? Well, a poison-type, for starters, with a heap of defence (95) and decent offensive capability in both physical (65) and special (60) attack. Where you get let down is with HP (40), special defence (45) and speed (shocking at 35). Trick room, else you're fragile if hit by special moves to the point you aren't worth it. Your one and only ability is levitate, which removes the weakness to ground unless you get smacked down, for example.

Here we have the young smoker, who thinks it's cool and makes them feel good...

Poison gas is a decent move for multi-battles, as it poisons all adjacent foes at 90 accuracy, and the other starting move is the old standard of tackle. Smog has base 30 damage as a poison special move (so it gets STAB) but at a low 70 accuracy, yet this is almost made up for with a good 40% chance of poisoning the target. Smokescreen lowers the foe's defence by a stage, whilst assurance is a base 60 dark physical move that doubles in power if the foe has already taken damage (even if self-inflicted) during the turn. The next move by level is clear smog, and later on, several steps later, you get haze, both of which reset all stat changes to zero (haze does to all, clear smog does to a specific target). The differences between haze and clear smog is that haze covers everyone, so you can remove your own debuffs, whilst clear smog is target specific and does damage as base 50 poison special without an accuracy check. Sludge is a decent power (65) poison special move that carries a chance of poisoning the foe, and self-destruct fills in the gap before haze, remaining as it ever is: a seriously powerful normal physical move (base 200) that will also kill you. Gyro ball is a great move here as a steel physical that hits harder the slower you are, and considering snails can easily overtake Koffing whilst also texting and dragging a yacht through syrup, you'll hit pretty hard with this, or at least should. The last move before the evolution level is sludge bomb (three guesses what type), which is base 90 special and has a 30% chance to poison the foe.

If you don't fancy evolving at the first juncture, you can get explosion, which is the same as self-destruct, but does 250 base rather than 200 and is still an awful idea. Next up is destiny bond, which basically means that (if you attack first) if you are KO'd that turn the foe who defeated you will also faint, and if you go last, then it carries over to the next turn. Consider that you faint before they do, so if this is your last Pokemon, you still lose, really. Belch is an extremely (base 120) powerful poison special move that can only be used if you have consumed a berry earlier on in the battle. The last move is memento, which faints the user to drop the foe's offensive stats by two stages. You don't faint if they protect or have a substitute, but if they have another form of immunity to stat changing, you still die for no reason. With self-destruct, explosion and memento, it's like this Pokemon wants to die.

Since nearly everything on the level list screams "kill me", frustration may well be an ideal move, so long as you don't walk around much and regain the Pokemon's trust. In addition to the standards from TM town, you can take venoshock (may well be worth it), hidden power (ok, it's a standard, but was worth saying), thunder/bolt, shadow ball, flamethrower and fire blast, round, incinerate, infestation and dark pulse as special options, and on the physical side you can take facade, payback and thief, as well as all the filler like rest, taunt, substitute, sleep talk and protect.

If you feel the need to breed, you can pick up curse, which won't hurt since your speed is so low that lowering it won't be much of a disadvantage, grudge will remove PP from the move that kills you so long as you haven't used another move in between, pain split averages your HP and the HP of your foe, and psywave hits dealing damage that is anywhere between half and one and a half times your level. Psybeam has a base 65 psychic special feel to it that could be useful, spite saps PP from the last move that hit you, and you do get the stockpile set (i.e. with spit up and swallow). It is possible to chain breed in toxic spikes. The tutor only offers snore, shockwave (base 60 electric special), uproar, pain split and spite.

If and when you evolve, Koffing sprouts a lump on its side, which also grows a face: two balls joined together makes Weezing. They may not look as happy, but they do get nice increases to all stats by 25, making them 65 HP, 90 attack, 120 defence (which is pretty good, allowing you to wall), 85 special attack, 70 special defence and 60 speed. Attack and special attack allow you to dole out some damage, but the poor(ish) special defence and HP mean you can't truly tank anything, and the increase in speed makes trick room and gyro ball less favourable. You keep being poison-type, and your ability remains levitate.

The tobacco addiction has caught up to them, and now they beg for death...

Aside from the level of the moves increasing after evolution at level 35, there's no difference to the level up list, so looking to the TM list you find the inclusion of hyper beam and giga impact to be rather token. Since the breeding list can't change, you can pray for something from the tutor, and you can be sorely let down with no change here either. How dull is that.

With the expression on Weezing's face, you can tell it's begging for death if you couple that with the movesets. You do get nice defence, and if you take the time to breed in toxic spikes, you could do ok, forcing physical attackers to switch out on you. You also have a great niche with clear smog and haze, which run similar duties but the subtle differences make them both viable on a move list. The choice is yours here, but it will never dine at the top table as far as I can see...

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#108+ #463: Lickitung and Lickilicky

You remember when I called out Cloyster and Shellder for looking perverse? Well now we have Pokemon that are basically giant, licking tongues (hence the names). Yeah, err...

Lickitung has great HP (base 90), but aside from that, it's fairly dull: base 55 attack, 60 special attack, both defences at 75 and 30 speed, so a setup for maybe a lower tier tank, since the defences are no way high enough to really soak up too much damage. 30 defence would probably be a gift for trick room and gyro ball (which it doesn't get). You get the abilities own tempo (can't be confused, even if it would confuse itself), oblivious (can't be captivated, infatuated or taunted) and the hidden ability of cloud nine (weather effects are negated). Own tempo is pretty awesome, since you could thrash or, for double or triple battles, target Lickitung with something like swagger. Get used to these abilities since Lickilicky retains them. You are purely normal-type, to add to the boredom.

I'm sure they used to use this to advertise Skips...

I think you could have predicted that you would get the move lick in there somewhere: it's a ghost physical that can cause paralysis and hits only at base 30. Supersonic is so inaccurate (55) that it's hardly worth it, as all it does is cause confusion. Defence curl buffs defence by a stage, which is handy for the walling/tanking prospects. Knock off remains its handy self (dark physical base 65 and removes a foe's held item), and wrap hits with low power (base 15 normal physical) but can trap foes for a few turns, hurting them at the end of each turn they are trapped. Stomp is reasonably powerful (65 normal physical) and doubles in power when hitting minimized foes. Disable disables the foe's last used move, and slam hits hard (80 normal physical) but has poor accuracy (75). Rollout is the usual rollout: it hits base 30 rock physical and gains power on successive turns, but for Lickitung, if it's levelled up with this move, it will evolve. Also, with defence curl, you get the combo.

If you hold off evolving, then you get some other reasonable moves that are all oddly physical focused for a Pokemon with a slightly better special attack stat (other than one move we'll get to). Chip away is a decent move as it hits base 70 physical normal, ignoring stat changes. Me first steals the foe's forthcoming move (so long as it is damaging) and increases power by 50%, and refresh cures paralysis, burn or poison status. Screech drops the foe's defence by two stages. Power whip has very high damage as a physical grass move (base 120) but lacks accuracy at 85, and the one special move by levelling is wring out, which hurts the opponent more the higher percentage HP the foe has remaining, which basically means it can crucify a Blissey.

You do get the standards from the TM list, and if you want to tank, then I would tentatively suggest things like toxic, rest, sleep talk, substitute, protect, maybe attract and dragon tail. Of course, if you want to hit hard, there are things like ice beam/blizzard, return, earthquake, hyper beam (yeurck), thunder/bolt, solar beam (and sunny day), dig, surf (and rain dance), flamethrower/fire blast, shadow ball, rock slide, facade (with STAB for a change), retaliate, brick break, strength and dream eater.

For egg moves, belch is probably a good shout if you run with a berry, whilst belly drum is alright since you have huge HP reserves and good defences, granting all 6 stages of attack boost for half your health (feels like the Shinigami eye deal from Death Note)... Curse will cut your own awful speed for some nice boosts to attack, but hammer arm (heavy recoil), magnitude (unreliable and earthquake is available), and muddy water (less accurate, no overworld utility but does lower the foe's accuracy, surf is still better) are all basically useless. Sleep talk and snore are pretty handy if you want to run a rest set, and smelling salts hits hard, especially if the foe tries to sleep against you since the base 70 physical normal doubles up and wakes them. Zen headbutt is pretty decent with base 80 (90 accuracy) as a physical psychic with a chance to flinch. The tutor can offer the elemental punches, as well as bind and aqua tail. Also from the tutor you can get focus punch, icy wind, iron tail, knock off, shock wave, water pulse (which you know I like) and zen headbutt.

So you've evolved into another tongue monster, Lickilicky. What do you get from that? Well, you get base 110 HP (which is pretty nice), as well as 95 in both defences, 85 in physical attack and 80 in special attack (this seems more fitting), and 50 speed. You've still got the same abilities, and you remain normal-type.

I don't want to talk about this one...

The only move added on for level up is gyro ball, which was desperately missing from Lickitung's moveset, but other than self destruct and explosion you'll be left bored by the TM list. The tutor also offers nothing more than what was there previously.

You can run this as a wall or tank, but there's also the potential of a belly drum set yet you lack the priority move of Azumarill, so this only really works with trick room support. There's a medium amount of utility here: since you're fairly survivable you could last a few turns and try dealing some damage, but there's no call to greatness here.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#104 + #105, #236 + #237: Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, the baby Tyrogue and the other one, Hitmontop

Ok, so we get a gimmick, two Pokemon named after martial arts actors and a baby, as well as quite possibly the most annoying method of evolution ever (this is basically the gimmick, but it gets far worse).

We'll start with the baby, Tyrogue, which is easy to comment on with regards to the stats: they're all 35... Yup, awful, but the gimmick requires balance here as the evolutions depend on the change in stats as they grow in level (see each one later). You've got here a fighting-type with guts (boosts attack when hit with a status problem, so probably pair this with facade), steadfast (raises speed every time you get flinched), and the hidden vital spirit (prevents this Pokemon from falling asleep). These are all OK, with guts actually being quite good, and vital spirit having its uses.

Oh my God! Miley Cyrus?

You only get four moves by level up, which you actually start with. These moves are tackle, helping hand, fake out (hits first and makes the foe flinch on the first turn, with a base 40 physical normal) and foresight (removes the immunity of an opposing ghost-type to fighting and normal moves). The TM spread is rather standard as well, if a bit limited. Brick break and low sweep are good physical STAB choices, whilst strength is a good shout, and earthquake is available. Sunny day and rain dance are available, so you could setup weather, frustration and return are good calls, protect is almost essential for something this weak, and facade is arguably the best move you can take as base 70 normal physical which doubles with a status problem (add in guts' 50% attack boost and then throw on a toxic orb, you get some very damaging turns before it's finally eaten your HP). Rest, thief, rock slide, bulldoze, round, sleep talk, toxic... Yeah, take your pick.

So if you've bred out from the other Hitmons, you can get bullet punch as a steel priority physical (base 40), counter, endure, feint, mach punch (basically bullet punch but fighting, not steel), hi jump kick (hugely powerful fighting physical at base 130, but if you miss, you get badly hurt), rapid spin, pursuit and vacuum wave (basically a fighting special priority base 40). The tutor offers covet, helping hand, low kick, role play (but don't give your foes one of your good abilities!), snore and uproar.

Now's where it gets annoying, this Pokemon becomes a choose your own adventure based on the distribution of attack and defence stats (don't confuse the stats with base stats, as EVs and IVs affect the final stats). If you wind up with higher attack than defence, you wind up with Bruce Lee Hitmonlee. Base stats wise, you go to 50 HP, 120 attack, 53 defence, 35 special attack (seriously!), 110 special defence (really quite good, as a nice surprise), and 87 speed. The abilities have changed, too, bringing in limber (can't be paralysed), reckless (recoil moves hit harder) and the hidden unburden, which is totally worth it! Unburden doubles your speed when you lose your held item, whether by use (like eating a berry, or using a sash), and the doubling also includes the investments. Aside from the special attack, the only other stagnation is in the typing: fighting only.

Yeah, this doesn't look all that much like Bruce Lee. Miley was the better look-a-like...

You start off with reversal, which hits harder the more injured you are, so basically build attack and speed, focus sash, make sure you're fragile, get hit down to 1HP (saved by the sash), and then profit. If you actually want other moves, you can grab close combat, which lowers your defences when used but is base 120 physical fighting. Mega kick is a base 120 physical normal but lacks accuracy at only 75. Revenge is a move with reduced priority, base 60 physical fighting, which doubles in power when you've taken damage in that turn. Double kick's effect is rather obvious, hitting twice with base 30 as a physical fighting. Meditate boosts your attack by one stage, rolling kick is a fighting physical base 60 with 85 accuracy and a chance to flinch, whilst jump kick is just a weaker hi jump kick, as previously mentioned. You can also get brick break by level up, along with focus energy and feint, followed by hi jump kick in the level order.

Mind reader basically makes your next move hit regardless other than if they protect, foresight has been explained, wide guard defends the team from multi-damaging moves like earthquake (basically ones that hit the whole team), blaze kick has base 85 physical as a fire move, and endure means you will survive, so could setup reversal, and then you just get mega kick, reversal and close combat.

The TM list gains little, but what it does gain is rather good, with poison jab, retaliate and stone edge, and the tutor now introduces bounce and focus punch.

If you had higher defence than attack, you get a different result from evolution at level 20: Jackie Chan Hitmonchan. Again base 50 HP and 35 special attack, with 110 special defence, but attack is only (I say only) 105, the defence is up to 79 and the speed is 76. In my book, the boost to defence isn't worth the loss of speed and attack, but you do get different moves and abilities. Oh, and hey, the abilities are again all different to make things really nice and easy (haha... brilliant): keen eye (prevents loss of accuracy), iron fist (punch moves gain 20% power) and the hidden inner focus, which prevents flinching.

Again, not really Jackie Chan...

You start with the familiar close combat, focus punch and revenge, along with counter (if the last damage incurred was from normal or fighting then counter will do twice as much damage to the foe as they did to you), and comet punch (base 18 normal physical hitting 2 to 5 times, averaging out at just over 3 times). Agility boosts speed by two stages, whilst pursuit, mach punch, bullet punch, feint and vacuum wave have already been discussed and bore me too much to rewrite. Quick guard defends against moves that have increased priority, and you can get the three elemental punches (fire, thunder, ice, all base 75 with the chance to inflict their status). Sky uppercut has 85 power as physical fighting and can hit flying, bouncing and sky dropping targets. Mega punch is less powerful than mega kick (80) but has higher accuracy (85) whilst remaining physical normal. Detect is basically protect, and the final three moves are counter, focus punch and close combat.

The TM list is identical to that of Hitmonlee, the egg move list the same as that of Tyrogue. The tutor list takes that of Tyrogue and adds in the elemental punches, as well as drain punch, which could be useful.

Here's where it gets REALLY stupid: to get the other Hitmon, Hitmontop (which represents capoeira), you need equal attack and defence, which is insanely hard to get. If you manage this, you get the 50HP, 35 special attack and 110 special defence, and a mere 70 speed. Even stupider, of course you get equal physical stats, but at 95, that's actually better defence than the one where you focused defence... Why? You get the cool abilities of intimidate (lowers the attack of the foe), technician (moves with power of 60 or less get a 50% boost, so keep that in mind when choosing from damage outputs) and the hidden ability of steadfast (increases speed when flinched). I cannot stress how cool technician is, since a lot of those weaker moves get nice secondary effects, like greater status affliction chances, or things like ancient and hidden power among others.

Ok, so this may well be someone like Cristiano Ronaldo, since it's thrown itself over...

Endeavour, close combat, rolling kick (base 60 and thus technician boosted, hereafter highlighted by *) and revenge appear at the start. Focus energy is still there as a waste of a move, along with pursuit* (doubles in power on a foe switching out, so hits base 80 as a dark physical, normally base 40, doesn't get boosted further than 80). Quick attack* is a nice way to cover for your poor speed, and triple kick has accuracy of 90 per kick, hitting up to three times, increasing from base 10 to 20 to 30 as physical fighting. Rapid spin* is a great niche move, allowing you to clear hazards and trapping things as well as being a weak normal physical move (base 20). Counter, feint and agility are all also on the list.

Gyro ball is a move that hits harder the slower you are, and base 70 speed isn't really slow enough for this to be great unless it gets a technician boost, and I'm not bothering with this too much: it's steel physical. Wide guard, quick guard, detect, close combat and endeavour complete the list.

We've seen the list of moves from TMs before, and the breed and tutor lists are identical to those of Tyrogue.

This list of Pokemon is exclusively male and can only be bred from Dittos, explaining the boring breed list. The movelists are boring (incredibly so) with a lack of variation other than the elemental punches, and with the really annoying evolutionary mechanic (as well as the absurd defence differences between Hitmonchan and Hitmontop (oh, and the odd naming) makes this a line I've pretty much ignored. Yes, there are some uses, especially with unburden or technician, but the lack of raw speed is depressing, and the lack of variety is awful. There are better alternatives, and pure fighting is decent enough but an added type could be great.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#104+ #105: Cubone and Marowak

Oh no... We've gone from the rubbishy eggs to something that is arguably weaker but infinitely more interesting in one of the most depressing/terrifying/creepy Pokemon ever. Seriously, it wears it's mother's skull!

Other than a good defence (95), Cubone's stats have nothing really going for them, featuring a mediocre 50HP, 50 attack, 40 special attack, 50 special defence and a rather miserable 35 speed. Taken as an average, that's worse than Exeggcute, however it's pure ground, so it has less crushing weaknesses, and it has some decent abilities. Lightning rod means that all electric attacks will home in on it and raise it's special attack, whilst rock head eliminates recoil from attacks like double edge and whatnot. The hidden ability is pretty boring: battle armour is the same as shell armour in that it prevents being hit by a critical, and that is all. The weird quirk here is that, like with Pikachu, you get a held item for Cubone that doubles its attack, but unlike Pikachu it also works on the evolved form and leaves special attack alone. This item, thick club, makes a bad Pokemon viable.

Mummy?

The level-up move list is pretty dull and offers no coverage, but all attacks play to the slightly better physical side of things (read considerably better with thick club). The moves you start with aren't great, with the first two being growl and tail whip, but again, they aren't entirely useless as you can weaken physical attacks incoming further and then soften the foe up to your physical attacks, so fair play. Next up is bone club, a signature move. Bone club is a base 65 ground physical with a chance to flinch, and is thus a decent choice, at least early on. You also get headbutt, leer and focus energy, followed by the other notable signature: bonemerang. Despite the awful name, bonemerang is a good call, hitting physical ground at base 50 TWICE, with the first hit able to break substitutes and setup the second, as well as acting as a sash breaker. The only other moves before you can evolve are rage (no) and false swipe (only if you're using this as a catcher).

If you hold off evolution then you can take thrash (base 120 normal physical hitting for a few turns but leaving you confused), fling (if you're stupid and want to lose the thick club that makes you relevant (see Marowak below)), bone rush (another signature, ground physical with base 25, hitting for 2 to 5 hits and is consequently a decent sash breaker but averages out at 79 base, so lesser to bonemerang and consequently not worth taking, really...), endeavour (you'll drag the foe's HP down to yours), double edge (a powerful base 120 physical normal attack with recoil, unless you have rock head, which makes this a great move, and better than thrash since there's no confusion), and retaliate, because a Pokemon that carries around parts of its dead mother should obviously have a move that hits harder in memoriam of a recently fallen comrade.

Ok, typical TM moves are here again, so toxic, rest, blah blah blah. You can take earthquake, which was suspiciously absent from the level list, but bonemerang may actually be a better choice due to the sash breaking potential unless you're aiming for hitting the field in multi-battles. Dig is weaker but has that turn out, so could be useful if you foresee something or other, like maybe a solar beam? I dunno, take bonemerang or earthquake for more obvious choices. What's really odd is that you get access to both blizzard and ice beam (I guess they're useful for the flying weakness, but as special moves they're of limited use, and they just seem really out of place). Instead of the ice moves, smackdown can handily deal with flying foes, and though the base power is only 50, rather than 90 or 110, the massive gulf between attack stats when a thick club is applied means that it will likely hit harder AND knock them out of the air in case they survive. If you don't fancy a base 50 move, then rock slide could be the perfect thing other than the 90 accuracy, and rock tomb is 95 accuracy but 60 power, so not much better than smackdown. It's like bulldoze (also available): uninspiring.

No point taking hidden power unless you REALLY want it, and the same applies for overheat, flamethrower, fire blast and sunny day (since it allows spammable solar beams at you, and none of these moves make any sense), and remember fling is utterly awful, and so is thief since you'll be holding an item. While round and echoed voice are also useless, facade could be a good one to have (say if you're poisoned), return is potentially good (if it loves you then it smashes things), as is strength and secret power, which covers decent physical normal moves if you don't have rock head and don't want thrash. Brick break and power-up punch offer decent fighting moves (rock smash is the same power as power-up punch but doesn't make you stronger), whilst aerial ace, though absurd to have it here, is a good physical flying move. 

Breeding can net you belly-drum, which could be absolutely amazing... if you had the HP to cover for it. Also you can get ancient power, which would be amazing if it was physical since it a) is rock type and covers flying issues and b) can boost every stat. Chip away is another solid normal physical (base 70, ignores stat changes), endure (you'll survive the next hit, and can couple with endeavour if you know that they won't just finish you off), detect (basically protect), iron head (again a recoil move, steel physical but only base 80), perish song (I'm going to pretend that wasn't there since it's so morbid) and skull bash (first turn raises your defence, next turn hits for base 130 physical normal) since you sort of have two skulls. Sorry, that was a little sick...

The tutor offers quite a lot, really. Icy wind is pretty worthless, however (no STAB, indifferent power, special), and since earth power is less powerful than both hits of bonemerang or one earthquake and is special, then it's no use. Thunder and fire punch offer good utility (flying and ice coverage respectively) and are of decent physical power (base 75), whilst focus punch is still pretty much a waste of time despite the power. Iron head has been discussed, and iron tail is inaccurate, so ignore them, and uproar, snore and even low kick are pretty dull and impotent. Really, iron defence is a great shout to buff your defence, whilst stealth rock usually has a place in everyone's team these days. The other move is knock off, which is also always worth considering as it has a fair punch and can remove the foe's item without interfering with your own.

Marowak looks less sad and more vengeful when compared to Cubone, and with 80 attack, it's pretty scary. What, you mean you've forgotten already? Right, 80 attack is good, but stick on a thick club and it's a scary 160 base (*@£!) plus double IV and EV investment... 110 regular and 80 special defence is also pretty nice, and you could be forgiven for going assault vest if you really had to. 60 HP still sucks and prevents a horrifying belly drum set, the 50 special attack is utterly irrelevant, and the 45 speed is still a little tragic unless you're on a trick room team... Same ground-type and abilities, by the way.

"You killed my mother, now I kill you! Wait, you didn't? Well, I'll kill you anyway, it helps take my mind off the grief and crippling loneliness..."

Hey, you know what trend we haven't seen enough of? A total lack of change in movesets on evolving. Yeah, at least it keeps it nice and simple. The real issue is when the TM list doesn't change. Thankfully, there are some changes. Well, adding in focus blast (special and thus worthless), hyper beam (always worthless), giga impact (physical and so a little less worthless, but still pretty worthless), sandstorm (eh...), and stone edge (powerful (100) but a little hit and miss (80 accuracy)). The tutor now offers outrage, which is the same as thrash except it's dragon-type rather than normal.

Ok, so you have the wearing the dead mother's skull, and the link to Kangaskhan being it's mother (I can't remember or care for all of that), but more importantly, you have that attack with thick club. The average base stat is far lower than Exeggutor, but this Pokemon is so much better: even without thick club you have far better typing and far better (and more options in) abilities. Factor in the much better special defence than the egg monstrosities, the better movepool, and that scary thick club and Marowak is actually pretty damn good, especially with trick room active. Fairly decent at survival, and very good at killing, this little orphan can whoop a lot of things.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#102+ #103: Exeggcute and Exeggutor

I cringe at those names... They're pretty bad. If you hadn't guessed, they have eggs in their design, and I'm leaving it at that.

Exeggcute isn't cute, it's a clutch of angry, cracked eggs. Something else not so cute about it: poor stats. 60HP and 80 defence are actually pretty good, really, but 45 special defence is awful since you're weak to fire, ghost, poison and ice which are predominantly special focused, and you also carry several other weaknesses with being grass/psychic. You get the chlorophyll ability to double your desperate base 40 speed when in the sun (which will just lead to even more powerful fire attacks killing you anyway but softly). 40 attack and 60 special attack means that you won't really hurt anything too much. You at least get an interesting hidden ability in harvest, which 50% of the time (or always in the sun) can return a used or lost berry after each turn, which is actually pretty awesome.

They look rotten. I like eggs, but I wouldn't eat these ones...

Barrage is a weak normal physical move which can hit a few times up to 5, meaning a maximum power of 75, but an average of just 47, though it can be used as a sash breaker if anything is weak enough to actually be damaged by this mess. Uproar packs a decent punch at base 90 as normal special and will last 3 turns, whilst also preventing Pokemon in play from sleeping, which is awkward as the next move on our list is hypnosis. Reflect lasts for 5 turns (unless removed with brick break or defog, and is ignored by infiltrator) and doubles the team's physical defence. Leech seed will sap HP from foes and can be baton passed to team mates, but it can also be removed by rapid spin. Bullet seed is a physical grass move that hits up to 5 times with base 25 power per hit, which is ok until you remember that your attack is pitiful. Stun spore, poison powder and sleep powder are fairly obvious in what they do, but aren't that accurate.

Confusion is a base 50 special psychic with the chance to inflict confusion, and worry seed will temporarily change the foe's ability to insomnia, preventing sleep and awakening it. Why does this Pokemon get moves to both cause and prevent sleep, and not just one of each but two! Natural gift's power and type is determined by the held berry, but it will consume it, so this is pretty rubbish, really. Solar beam is powerful, but the temptation to use in sunlight is a big problem since you really can't even take an ember with special attack backing. Extrasensory is arguably the best move at your disposal as a psychic special attack with base 80 and a flinch chance (I like this move). The last available by level is bestow, which gives the target your held item.

You get the standard array of TM moves, including solar beam again. Here, things like hidden power and return actually stand out as possibly decent moves again. Hidden power could be a saving grace since there are so many things you can't touch and could ruin you that almost any type other than what you have will do the job. Psychic and sludge bomb are decent ideas for moves to take due to high power and being special, and facade is ok-ish, reduced in utility due to awful physical attack. Energy ball is a safer alternative to solar beam but only at base 90 rather than 120. Dream eater goes great with hypnosis or sleep powder but awfully with uproar and worry seed. Grass knot, infestation and strength (somehow) are some of the better options as well.

If for some reason you choose to breed this waste of a Pokeball into existence (maybe for the laugh of hatching some eggs from an egg), then you can get ancient power, which in addition to being a base 60 rock special can boost all your stats by one stage (can, not will). Curse is ok since your speed is around that of a dead house cat anyway, and giga drain is possibly worth the effort if you really want this Pokemon as it does decent damage (base 75 STAB special) and it gives you back some health. Moonlight and synthesis both do the exact same things, granting healing based on weather, both giving back a massive two thirds in, you guessed it, sunlight. Leaf storm would normally be almost inadvisable since it crushes your special attack by two stages after use, but you won't be hanging around long, so a base 130 special STAB attack is worth it in my book. Power split is a great argument for hindering natures and no investment in your attack stats as it averages your offensive stats with those of the foe, which is amazing for tanky Pokemon like Shuckle that do no damage but can take hits like champs, so it may well be worth it here, if only to make the foe less of a threat for the rest of your team.

Why waste time seeing the tutor for this? Yeah, you can get giga drain, skill swap, synthesis and seed bomb, but you won't use this Pokemon.

If you're willing to waste a leaf stone, you get Exeggutor, with the same awful typing and middling abilities, the standard chlorophyll being far better for other Pokemon, like ones that don't suck. I've been a little harsh on Exeggutor: it has decent stats, like 95 HP and attack, 85 defence, 125 special attack, and then it ruins it with 55 speed and only 65 special defence, meaning fire-types will still wreck your day. I guess stats can lie, since with the horrible typing, this Pokemon is still bad.

There are no words to describe how awful this design is...

If you went all the way through the moves of the previous evolution (I refuse to type out that mess of a name again), then you'll possibly want to visit the move relearner, since you get some decent moves at low levels with this, which is something which really annoys me: to get some good moves, you have to stick around to high levels, but then when you use your stone, you've missed out on gems like psyshock (level 17), egg bomb (level 27, physical normal base 100 but a bit inaccurate) and wood hammer (level 37, base 120 grass physical with recoil equal to a third of damage inflicted). Unless you really wanted bestow, you probably won't have missed out on leaf storm (level 47) and I won't describe it again.

You can at least use a TM for psyshock, but this Pokemon is still not forgive for the split movelists. Other than that, hyper beam and giga impact, you basically get nothing new from the TMs, and the tutor only adds low kick and zen headbutt (base 80 psychic physical with the chance to cause a flinch).

As far as training goes, you could make a decent mixed attacker, since the speed is so bad that investment will actually be counter-productive (use a trick room team). The thing is, no matter what you do, this Pokemon will never really be worth your time due to the massive number of weaknesses and the poor special defence. Just don't bother with it.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#100 + #101: Voltorb and Electrode

So we reach the century and we seemed to have found a Pokeball... Wait... IT'S ATTACKING!

Voltorb's design may not be the most inspiring (not just a ball, but a Pokeball), but it kinda makes sense in a sort of camouflage sense. If you skip past the aesthetics, what you find is a seriously fast Pokemon (base 100 as a first evolution), but beyond this, it's anything but impressive: base 40HP, 30 attack, 50 defence and 55 in both special stats. It hits fast, but with all the raw power of a speck of dust. You get the abilities soundproof (immunity to sound based attacks like synchronoise and uproar), static (contact may cause paralysis to the foe), and the hidden ability aftermath (if Voltorb or any Pokemon with this ability is fainted by a move that makes contact, the attacker will take damage equal to 25% of its maximum HP). Honestly, aftermath may well be one of your best bets to deal damage. Soundproof is too situational, and static isn't awful, to be honest... By the way, you're a pure electric-type, so despite not being able to hit the fairly common ground-type, you can decimate the often present water-types (unless they are dual-type ground). Ground is your only weakness, but you don't get many resistances (steel, flying and electric itself).

It is just a pissed off Pokeball

You know what would really work on Voltorb? Moves like spikes and other entry hazards, and of course, these are lacking from the level list. Naturally, you do get tackle to go with your terrible physical attack, you get charge (boosts special defence), eerie impulse (which drops the foe's special attack by two stages, so paired with charge could work to tank if your stats weren't so dire), and sonic boom (normal type, always does 20 damage, which means that you can whittle things down, but it's never going to save you unless you're against a Shuckle). Spark's base 65 electric damage is offset by it being physically based, though it does get a decent paralyse chance, and rollout does increasing damage per turn (with a nice boost if you defence curl before hand) but is a rock physical attack with base 30, so rather underwhelming. Screech drops the foe's defence by two stages, charge beam is a move with decent power (50), is special with 90 accuracy and has a good (70% chance) of raising your special attack by a stage.

Electroball is another electric special attack but the damage base is calculate by how much faster you are than the opponent (and since Voltorb has huge speed, then this is probably a decent idea). Swift is a normal special attack with base 60 that 'never misses', and self-destruct is a terrible idea (physical as well, so the massive base power is reduced in effect). The last move before you can evolve by level is light screen (double's the team's special defence for five turns, but can be removed by brick break, defog and is ignored by infiltrators).

Magnet rise basically lifts the Pokemon off the ground, making it immune to ground-type attacks (handy), but then you get to discharge (base 80 electric special with 100 accuracy, good chance of paralysing foes and will hit all Pokemon in double battles (including your partner, so be careful)). Three moves left in the slog fest, and one of the is explosion, so that one's rubbish, and another is gyroball, which is great for slower Pokemon, but for Voltorb it just seems dumb. The last move on offer is mirror coat, a decreased priority move that hits foes (other than dark-types) the same, as it does double the damage taken earlier in the turn if it was inflicted by a special attack.

You get the standard array of TM moves, with thunder and thunderbolt both being very tempting to pick up as strong special electric moves, really playing to your strength. With thunder, you may wish to take rain dance to boost your accuracy. You can also take toxic to make sure you do sustained damage even if you get one-shotted (your regular attacks won't be earth-shattering due to your poor offensive stats). Volt-switch is actually a nice idea, and coupled with a choice item could be a blessing: you get in fast with a base 70 electric special and then switch out of play to something that will take hits well before retribution can find you. Thunderwave also allows you to behave very badly, paralysing the foe and maybe making you last a touch longer. Double team offers increased evasiveness, which I've seen used to frustrating extremes, whilst protect is obviously decent if you're going the toxic/stall route, maybe with double team and volt switch. Wild charge really isn't worth it with base 90 physical and recoil (though it is STAB). Substitute would also work really well with stalling tactics.

With a total lack of breeding moves, the tutor is the last hope for entry hazards, but that falls flat. They do offer some decent moves such as signal beam, snore and shockwave, along with foul play as a strong physical dark move if that takes your fancy, as well as moves that were already previously on offer.

If you want to evolve to Electrode and lose your camouflage, you are rewarded with suddenly being reasonable: your speed is now a scary base 140, with 80 in both specials, 70 defence and 60HP (so some slight bulk) but the physical attack is still poor enough to ignore at 50. Same type, same abilities, same spherical shape.

It looks like it's watching something indecent...

You know what else stays the same? The level up list, other than you getting magnetic flux (raises defence and special defence of allies with the plus or minus abilities). Hyper beam and giga impact are still worthless, and are the only real additions to the TM list, and with no breeding moves and no new tutor moves, we are pretty much done here...

All I can really say is that you are fast, really fast. Special attack is the one to focus, but even then you're hardly a real threat, so a volt switch or toxic staller set is probably one of the better ideas for damaging things with defence. Get in there fast, and stop them. There's nothing bad here, but there are major deficiencies, with a very dull movepool covering mainly just status and electric-type attacks, no variation other than signal beam from the tutor and a couple of iffy dark moves.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)

#98 + #99: Krabby and Kingler

Let's go to the beach, and not take Niki Minaj... We've got crabs, though, which may not be as bad as it sounds, just don't put the evolved form as a second one in Pokemon fusion with one of the Hitmons...

Ok, so Krabby is unoriginal in design and name, but it does have nice physical stats with 105 attack and 90 defence. The issues lie with the poor HP (30), low speed (50) and dreadful specials (25). With no special defence, this water-type will get shredded by electric (most commonly) and grass-types, since the significant electric moves are special, and a lot of decent grass ones are special as well. You get three abilities: hyper cutter (prevents attack decreases other than those which are self-imposed), shell armour (prevents you from being hit by a critical hit) and the hidden ability sheer force (boosts power by 30% but removes secondary effects like the chance to burn or freeze).

It looks sort of like a crab! How original...

Mud sport is a decent choice as it reduces the effects of electric attacks, and bubble is your first damaging attack as a base 40 water special with a chance to lower the foe's speed (remember what sheer force does, as well, and not just for this move). Vice grip is probably a better choice of move as a physical normal with higher base power (55) and it correlates with your better offensive stat. Leer drops the foe's defence by a stage, whilst harden raises your own by the same degree. Bubblebeam is basically a more powerful bubble (base 65) and the same secondary effects, typing and status (special). Mud shot is a base 55 special ground move and lowers the target's speed by a stage, and metal claw is a base 50 special steel move that has a chance of raising your own attack. Stomp is a base 65 physical normal which hits minimized foes for twice the power and it carries a flinch chance. Protect is protect (obviously), and guillotine is a very low accuracy move (but is more accurate the higher level you are compared to the foe) but is a one hit KO move (resisted by sturdy). Slam's decent base 80 physical normal power is offset a bit by it's poor accuracy (75), and brine has ok power (65 water special) but hits foes at base 130 if they are below 50% of their max HP (great for messing up belly-drummers). Crabhammer was this line's signature, and is a base 100 water physical move with 90 accuracy and a high critical hit ratio. The last move available is flail (hits harder the more injured you are).

The real shame about the TM list is that you get some nice special moves like ice beam, hidden power, surf, round and scald (not counting blizzard, blizzard has poor accuracy unless it's in hail, which will hurt you). Hone claws gives nice boosts to both accuracy and attack, toxic is a standard for TM lists, hail is there if you don't mind the turn damage to boost blizzard's accuracy, dig, brick break, return, frustration and facade are all standards native to TM lists. Rock tomb, rock slide and x-scissor are decent physical attacks, and false-swipe is a great move for catching wild Pokemon as it hits with moderate (well, base 40) power, but leaves the foe on 1HP. Swords dance is there for you to give a large boost to attack, and rest, substitute, sleep talk and swagger are all there. Cut, waterfall and rock smash are all decent as HMs.

Chip away and knock off can be bred onto Krabby, along with ancient power, which is pretty tragic as it's special. Ancient power is a decent rock special attack that can increase all stats. You can chain breed haze, and the rest are rather uninspiring. Speaking of uninspiring, let's see what the tutor has to offer: superpower (high power but lowers your stats, base 120 physical fighting), knock off, icy wind, iron defence, snore and water pulse, which isn't worth taking here.

You can evolve at level 28 into Kingler. No change to type (still mono-water) nor is there any change to abilities. You get nice stat boosts, however: 55HP, a tasty 130 attack and 115 defence, still a poor 50 in both specials, and 75 speed.

It's not the greatest crown ever...

Wide guard is available as far as level-up goes, and this is the only change here. Hyper beam and giga impact remain worthless as the only additions to the TM list. That's it as far as changes go... Wow, that's pretty pathetic...

To sum this up, this is a very fragile, high damage yet very slow Pokemon. It doesn't have the special defence to cope with much thrown at it, and the weaknesses it has are to special-led typings. You have nice damage output, a decent defensive type and great physical defence to cover this, so if you get the right switch in, it can be fine. Just that the move set isn't all that great either.

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)