#79, #80 + #199: Slowpoke, Slowbro and Slowking

For this Pokemon you'll need either a set of trusty shears or something to scare off Team Rocket depending on whether you think taking their tails is evil, but you may face competition from another Pokemon...

Slowpoke has become a meme, so that counts against it. However, it's cute, especially because of it's overwhelmingly dumb appearance. It's slow (as the name suggests), really slow at only base 15 speed, but that's fine for a trick room team, and there is potential in 90 HP and decent physical stats (65 in each). The special stats are a little poor at only 40 each (for now). Slowbro also gains three great abilities: oblivious (you don't get attracted/infatuated by the enemy and you can't be taunted into doing stuff), own tempo (prevents the Pokemon from becoming confused) and the hidden ability regenerator (regenerates 1/3rd of its maximum HP when switched out). Seriously, these are great abilities. Oh, you're also water/psychic-type, which is pretty good, in truth.

He's so happy you came to see him! Sadly, you were there eight years ago...

Straight off the bat you get curse (this move differs in effect, being different for ghosts than for anything else, so here it will cut your speed, which is no real tragedy, and boost both attack and defence, so not bad), yawn (puts the foe to sleep after a couple of turns) and tackle (you know this one). Thereafter you get growl (lowers their attack a little) and water gun as your first STAB move (water special base 40) followed by confusion (psychic special base 50 and can confuse the target). Disable is a really annoying move as it prevents the foe from using the move that last hit you again. Headbutt is a decent physical move (base 70 with the chance to flinch and is normal-type), and you can also then pick up water pulse (special base 60 and can confuse, so I like it). Zen headbutt is a nice psychic physical move that can flinch the foe and hits hard at base 80. Slack off is the last move before one of two possible evolutions, here you take the turn off in order to recover half your HP.

The other moves you can get here include amnesia (two stage boost in special defence), psychic (special base 90, guess the type), rain dance, psych up (copies the foe's stat changes, and is consequentially awesome to use when the foe has used a baton pass run) and heal pulse (can heal others by 50% of base HP).

There are a lot of moves available by TM here, so forgive me if I miss a few. Ones of note include psyshock (uses your special attack against their physical defence), hidden power (you know this one), calm mind (raises both special stats by a stage), ice beam (forget blizzard's dreadful accuracy, low PP and only 20 more power, ice beam hits base 90), light screen (halves damage from inbound special attacks across your team for 5 turns), safeguard (prevents inbound status effects for 5 turns), frustration/return, earthquake (great to cover electric and it's earthquake, so you know the drill), dig (you know this), shadow ball (base 80 special ghost), flamethrower/fire blast (you know the story here, take power or accuracy), facade, rest, round/echoed voice, scald (probably worth a look with it being powerful and having the ability to inflict a burn), incinerate (base 60 fire special that will burn the opponent's berry), thunderwave (electric-type and thus ignored by ground but will paralyse most foes), bulldoze, dream eater (base 100 special with STAB and couples with yawn from level up, but only works if the foe is asleep), grass knot, swagger, sleep talk (basically essential with rest), substitute, trick room (basically more haste (or speed stat) less (observed) speed), secret power, surf, strength and dive. So quite a few... Though why it gets fire and electric moves is beyond me...

If you plan on eating berries in battle then by all means breed in belch for 120 base special poison damage, else don't bother. That basically applies to all breeding moves: future sight's immense power is a bit of a dud since it only hits after a few turns of sitting around being killed, snore may be ok if you plan on using rest or being put to sleep, belly drum is rarely worth it, though I guess with the dreadful speed then me first can work ok (steals the opponent's move with priority and more power but only if they're using a damaging move). The tutor is of moderate use: lots of moves you could have taken, some moves you maybe shouldn't take, and then aqua tail, recycle, iron tail, icy wind and if you're mad and want to swap out your great abilities then by all means take skill swap and watch me frown a bit at you.

Evolving by level, you get to Slowbro, who doesn't seem to have noticed that he is being eaten by a Shellder... According to Bulbapedia, the Shellder makes it stronger, and without it, Slowbro becomes a lowly Slowpoke again. But enough: you keep the same abilities on evolving, and gain nicely in base stats: 95 HP, 75 attack (small steps for those), 110 defence (big step), 100 special attack (giant leap), 80 special defence (not bad) and 30 speed (...)...

Guys, the pain in my tail stopped after an instant and I feel great! Let's go play!

Skipping the identical level up list (well, levels shift a bit) and going straight to the TMs, you get the obligatory hyper beam (waste of time) as well as some more interesting options like aerial ace, brick break and focus blast, as well as fling and rock smash, which I don't recommend. The tutor also adds drain punch, focus punch, ice punch, foul play, iron defence and magic coat (ignore trick for the same reason you ignore fling).

Held item here can be important as Slowbro got a Mega Evolution! So what's the point of Slowking? In terms of mega evolution, you get shell armour as an ability, along with 70 extra defence (180 base) and 30 extra special attack, with no other changes.

"I may be being eaten, but that's no excuse to not hug me... How rude!"

What is the point of Slowking? You need a king's rock trade to evolve Slowpoke for 95 HP, 75 attack, 80 defence, 100 special attack and 110 special defence and still just 30 speed, so basically a specially defensive equivalent of Slowbro, who got a mega and is now so much better it's unfunny... You keep the same abilities, but now at least you have a funny crown and a weird neck ruff thingy...

Ariana Grande?

You can add power gem to your repertoire by level up (special rock-type base 80) along with nasty plot (boosts special attack) and trump card (does more damage the less PP you will have left after using, which is just weird but can be devastating if it's on its last use). The TM and tutor moves are the same as Slowbro...

Slowbro is pretty great now since it has a mega, making the alternative of Slowking rather redundant unless you desperately need that special defence. Slowpoke is a nuisance, really, as a pre-evolution as it sort of sucks at what makes the evolved forms good. The special attack, HP and whatever defence you have makes this an excellent wall, and if you train the other defence and HP then it can make for a decent tank. The designs are also adorable...

(All artwork presented by Ken Sugimori, taken from the Bulbapedia image archives)